iyam what iyam

I am sure after reading about how I took my shirt off in a parade, and got mistaken for a hooker (all in the same week) you are thinking to yourself "Good LORD woman, get a grip already." And may I just say: you don't know the half of it.

Now I am in Seattle, and I am carefully juggling quality time with friends and family and intensive retail therapy with my beloved girlfriend.
Heaven.
She even bought an air conditioner in honor of my visit. I know, right?!

It's no surprise that she would go to such great lengths. This is the same dear friend who keeps Bumble and Bumble hair products in her guest bathroom for me. This trip, she has raised the bar quite a bit, so future hostesses of America (or just of Daffodil) please be warned - I have discovered how much I like having a espresso bar set up in my guest bathroom, directly outside of my shower, so that I can step out and whip up a latte while my conditioner is soaking in.

Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it.

But all of this is not my point. And I do have one. My point is that my dear friend who loves me and understands all of my little "idiosyncracies" (a.k.a. "nut buttons") took one look at me fresh off a 9 hour flight, then looked at my husband, and said "Did she wear that on the plane?"

I have spent many an evening admiring Maggie Mason's photo essays of what she packed to take with her on trips. And she always looks so fabulous. So classy. So chic. My suitcase is loaded with tank tops, sassy skirts, little knit sundresses, and stilettos. Not really much worth photographing, or so I thought. But the reaction of the flight attendants and then of my beloved friend, have led me to believe that perhaps, if anything, my choice of travel garb will be entertaining to some of you. I had no idea it was so fucking funny. I thought I looked GOOD. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Now, before I show you a picture of this outfit - a photo that we took tonight, going to great lengths to recreate the look that caused such a commotion - let me say this:

First: I GOT MANY COMPLIMENTS
Second: I ROCK THE PINK SATEEN TUTU
Third: I WEAR STILETTOS EVERYWHERE.

(Case in point - this photo is me arriving at Derby practice, courtesy of Go!ShiShi's daughter, who obviously had no idea when she might ever again see a chick showing up to Derby practice in shredded stockings, hotpants, and turquoise sparkly stilettos. Little did her innocent daughter realize, that is pretty much my regular day to day wardrobe. Little did I realize I was making such a spectacle of myself.)

Because this is pretty typical of my daily wardrobe, you may be getting an inkling of how, exactly, I roll. (But really, with heels this high, it's more of a strut than a roll.) There have been adjustments made over the years, acknowledgements that I cannot wear the very short or the very tight. That I need to wear a bra at all times. That side boob is not a good look for a 35 year old.

And yet.......but still........I cannot really give up the heels and the sass.

As clearly evidenced by the outfit I chose to wear while I flew cross-country.

Laugh now, go right ahead, but I am not going to change. It's too late for me. Save yourselves.