I show up with my own road soda, already half in the bag. At 5pm.
I show up half an hour late. Half in the bag. With a road soda.
I wear obnoxious turquoise shoes covered in glitter, when everyone else is in basic black. Or jeans and a tank top.
I specify which piece of cake I want. And stick my finger in it just to be sure no one else tries to take it.
I dance the macarena on top of the table, in glitter heels, clutching aforementioned road soda.
I taught my kids everything I know, and they can bump and grind like professionals.
I take pictures of everyone. Constantly. With a flash.
I eat all the avocado.
I take over the present opening, and keep all the envelopes with cash. "For safekeeping".
I hog all the babies.
Happy 5th birthday, Ava. Thanks for inviting us to your party - We had a great time !
3 hours ago