Thursday, April 29, 2010

Reasons why people do (and do not) invite us to parties

Reason 1:
I show up with my own road soda, already half in the bag. At 5pm.

Reason 2:
I show up half an hour late. Half in the bag. With a road soda.

Reason 3:
I wear obnoxious turquoise shoes covered in glitter, when everyone else is in basic black. Or jeans and a tank top.

Reason 4:
I specify which piece of cake I want. And stick my finger in it just to be sure no one else tries to take it.

Reason 5:
I dance the macarena on top of the table, in glitter heels, clutching aforementioned road soda.

Reason 6:
I taught my kids everything I know, and they can bump and grind like professionals.

Reason 7:
I take pictures of everyone. Constantly. With a flash.

Reason 8:
I eat all the avocado.

Reason 9:
I take over the present opening, and keep all the envelopes with cash. "For safekeeping".

Reason 10:
I hog all the babies.

Happy 5th birthday, Ava. Thanks for inviting us to your party - We had a great time !


Maile said...

For ALL these reasons and more- it's exactly why you are the #1 invite. Thanks SO much. It would NOT be a party without you dancing on the table. Hopefully some one got a picture of that too! ;)

Aunt Becky said...

I would so have you come to one of my Sausage Parties. In a hot minute.

High_Noonan said...

I got KILLED the last time I showed up at a drinking party (the point was to drink and laugh), after having a good lubing up of the pumps. I was told that it was "bad form" to show up with beer on one's breath. I figured it was in the spirit of the party! My bad. And, yes, the kids all loved me and nothing bad happened. I was not in the dog house until later...much later.
V, we are cut from the same cloth.