Thursday, September 10, 2009

Don't get all "Just Say No" on me now

Yesterday I mentioned that perhaps a little wine at the end of the day might help me deal with the ginormous task of Third Grade Homework.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But there is something else that would probably help too......and I am just not sure if I need more of it or not. I am speaking, of course, of prescribed pharmeceuticals.

My mother just LOVES it when I talk about my depression on this blog. Oh, she does. She really does. She would never encourage me to keep it quiet, in case anyone ever read about it and made a judgement about me based on my mental health - WHICH IS FINE. My mental health is fine, just a bit droopy, and a tad manic, and maybe a little OCD. Nothing major, I don't think they're gonna lock me up or anything. I mean, if Nancy W. Kappes (paralegal) and her Judy Garland Trail Mix is free to walk the streets, I have nothing to worry about.

Point being, I have tried a few different kinds of anti-depressants at the encouragement of multiple doctors, and they all leave me feeling sleepy and groggy and not myself. At all.

And I am FUN when I'm myself. So why ruin a good thing.

Which is why I am currently not taking any pharmaceuticals at all, and why by 1 pm yesterday I was shaking and teary. (Or maybe that was because I had not had anything to eat that day, and the only drink I had was an americano with about 2 inches of sweetened condensed milk stirred in. Don't knock it till you've tried it, but for GOD'S SAKE try it with food. Trust me on this one.)

ANYWAY the point of all of this is that I am not taking my antidepressants, so I'm depressed. Which means that this morning in addition to my espresso with sweetened condensed milk, I also had 3 strips of bacon. And now I am thinking about what else to eat, and reading The Pioneer Woman for inspiration because if anyone can come up with something that looks tasty to someone with no appetite, it's Ree. I'll bet she doesn't take antidepressants either, because with all of that bacon and all those cowboys, how could anyone possibly be depressed.

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