Saturday, March 7, 2009

Wait, what ?

If you were vacationing in Hawaii right now, you would be bitterly disappointed. It's gray. It's (relatively) cold. It's windy. It's rainy.

And, since this is Hawaii, the land of fun-n-sun, it stands to reason that indoor activities are basically non-existant. So your options as a resident are: sit in your house, go to a friends house, see a movie, or bundle up and pretend everything is totally normal. Even our malls are open to the elements - so if it raining outside, it's raining in the mall.

We have been inside for far too long now. It has gotten to the point where I load everyone in the car including the dog, and head to town to run errands - just for a change of scenery.

A pleasant side-effect of the crappy weather is my body's reaction to being cold and damp. I can barely turn my head, and the amount of pressure radiating up my neck and across my shoulders is insane. Yesterday, when I woke up, I actually had trouble getting out of bed. As I perched on the edge of the mattress and debated calling in to work, I decided to tough it out and take a muscle relaxer that was prescribed after the crash. For the first hour, I didn't feel different, but I soldiered on. And at about 90 minutes in, I was feeling GREAT. And about 2 hours after taking the pill, I tried to curl up in one of the booths and take a nap.

People, I was high. At work. Trying to wait on people. It. Was. Ridiculous.
I would approach a table, and greet them, and then sort of stare into space for a minute. Specials ? Oh, right, THE SPECIALS. Yes, yes of course....uhhhh. Yes. Today's specials. Hm. Hang on a sec, OK ?

So my neck felt FANTASTIC - like I didn't even HAVE a neck. But the rest of me was *freaking the fuck out*. I realized in the span of about 10 minutes that:
A. I shouldn't be at work, or even in public.
B. I couldn't drive myself home even if I wanted to go.
C. There was no one to call to come in and cover for me and
D. I was an ass for taking medication (even prescribed medication) right before a shift at work.

I alternated between "high-speak" (wherein I would babble to myself and anyone who would listen about how high I was, and how inappropriate it was, and how embarrassed I was to be so high, and how I probably needed to go home, and Do I Sound High to You ?) and trying to talk myself off the ledge that hangs precariously over "lock yourself in the bathroom and cry and throw up" land - a place I have seen a few times and never want to visit agin.

Man, was I high. *shakes head sadly*
What a waste.

So, fast forward to 3 hours later, I am still high, but now my neck hurts and I am getting nauseous, from a pain/highness combo that had to be experienced to be explained.

Then, a few hours after that I was no longer high, but still nauseous. So I did what any other clear thinking, non-high person would do. I went home, and went to sleep.

And this morning ? I woke up stiffer then yesterday, and in total misery. Luckily, I didn't have to work, so I took another one of the muscle relaxers. Boy, am I high.