all better now

It is amazing how a painkiller and a muscle relaxer can really take the edge off.

For the past three days, I have been on edge, gritting my teeth, impatient and aggravated.

Turns out, I was just IN PAIN. I have to stop and explain that I have an incredibly high pain threshold according to several doctors, and I have a tendency to wait until the pain has reached epic proportions (and I am vomiting in the bushes) before I will take something for it. Today was no different. I woke up and said to Sami "I think I am going to see the doctor today." I got to the clinic and reconsidered. I was just a little sore, it was totally normal to be sore after a car accident. I didn't need to see a DOCTOR for GOD'S SAKE.

But I figured, since I was already there (and since Sami was not going to leave the clinic unless I did because I suspect he was sick of my whining) I would see a doctor.

The doctor examined me, agreed with me that it was just normal post-accident aches and pains, and then gave me a prescription for the muscle in my chest thats spasms are making it very painful to breathe. And some vicodin or something like that for the pain.

I stood in line at the pharmacy, contemplating bagging the whole thing and not getting the prescriptions. But once again, I decided "What the hell, I'm already here" and went through with it.

Oh people, I am so glad I did.

Turns out, I LOVE MUSCLE RELAXERS.

It was the weirdest thing. All of the sudden, I wasn't all cranky and tense and sore. I was relaxed and cheerful and HUNGRY. So we went to Moana for a huge breakfast of crab cake benedicts and sausage gravy and biscuits and coffee and a bloody mary and pastries and it was FUCKING AWESOME and I thought to myself "see, I am totally fine, I didn't need those silly pain killers after all !" Then I realized that I had actually, um, already taken them. And that actually I probably felt real good BECAUSE of them. And now I totally understand how people end up showing their coochies to the paparazzi and driving into trees and ending up in rehab because of these things. They are really indescribably awesome. And if I see a papparazzi, I am totally going to show them my business end.

Promises Malibu, here I come.