Sunday, August 24, 2008

Vibrators and jelly(fish)

Today, Max went to a birthday party. This is one of the first "drop off" parties he has attended, and it was a pool party. He was being such a little shit today (sorry, but truly, he was) that I practically chucked him out of the moving vehicle as I drove by the YMCA, I was so glad to be rid of him for a few hours. And the party was hosted by friends, so I knew he would be fine without me, and I could leave him there guilt free.

I came back to pick him up (I know, it surprised me too, I wasn't sure I would actually go back to get him.) and he was clutching a large, gray, plastic, torpedo-shaped THING. I said, "Max, what is that ?" and he tells me, by way of explanation "look, if you push this button it vibrates." Every adults eyes immediately shot p and locked on my kid. I thought maybe I might pass out. "Max where did you FIND THAT?" Thank god, it turns out it was some sort of a pool toy, or so he claimed. Regardless, it was confiscated TOOT SWEET let me tell you. The parents all had a good laugh at my expense, until the birthday boy stuck his hand down his pants while opening gifts. That took some of the attention off of us.

So while Max is running around creating mayhem, I am trying to get out of there ASAP. As I am hustling him to the car, he stops and finds the mom that was throwing this little shindig, and demands his goodie bag. Such a charming boy, isn't he?

We got home and I staggered up to the house loaded down with bags from my errands - and a balloon that (especially considering recent events) looked like an inflated condom with strips of clear tape hanging off of it. I was told it was a balloon jellyfish. Whatever the hell it was, Lucy loved it.

Lucy is pretty easy to please, for the most part. She runs very hot and cold - one minute she loves you and the next minute he is chasing you with a plastic knife threatening to cut you. I don't know where she gets her bi-polar tendencies, but she has 'em in spades. She also loves to dance. She has recently discovered our iPod, and it is her new favorite thing.

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