Thursday, August 21, 2008

A big "thank you" and "Bravo !"

Hi, remember me ? You may not, as I believe that I was completely INVISIBLE to you today. As was my daughter, and a large number of other small children today at the library, apparently.

I would like to THANK YOU for your rousing performance during today's story time. While standing up with your ASS not 6 inches from my nose, jumping up and down, singing at the top of your lungs, and simultaneously frightening and deafening those around you, you completed your trifecta by royally pissing me off. Yes, I know that there were several other mothers doing the same thing, and trust me, you all came off like total assholes, I promise. Each and every one of you.

My daughter was so upset by what happened today at story time, that I may never get her to re-enter the library. When she went to look for me, she couldn't see me through the throngs of leaping adults. I couldn't hear her calling for me over the screaming/crying/singing/disciplining - and I couldn't see her through your ASS. She ran OUT OF THE LIBRARY looking for me, thinking I had abandoned her at story time. And while i wish that I had also run screaming out of the library, instead I politely climbed through the crowd, trying to get to her, and remove her from what was obviously becoming a traumatic situation. Story time should never be traumatic for the children in attendance.

I have a few things I would like to remind you about.

1. Story time is not for YOU. Sit down and shut up.
2. If your child is not enjoying story time - LEAVE.
3. If your child needs assistance or encouragement or comfort, by all means, sit right next to them or take them into your lap - and remain seated.
4. Unless you are leaving - in which case, please do so as expeditiously as possible. No need to discuss anything with anyone, we all get it, and can clearly see that you are leaving, and usually can surmise why. Just get out, quickly and quietly, and take all of your kids with you.

Below, please see a photo of my daughter at a recent story time. Please note all of the parents in attendance are sitting down, around the periphery of the group. Please note that my daughter is ENJOYING story time.
Thank you for ruining it for her.

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