Friday, February 11, 2011

This is why no one carpools with us

On my birthday, I went on a field trip. I was one of the field trip drivers, and a big day was planned: a museum visit, picnic lunch, a whale watch, and I was even going to pick up my long-awaited, much anticipated sandals (more on those later). We got an early start, and I was running right on time. Lunches packed, everyone in the car, I even managed to fire up the espresso machine before we left.

Amazing AND Wonderful.

There were four of us in the car - another mom, solemn and reserved, a woman who I have known for a long time - but not very well, and her son who is Max's age. As we were heading down the road, Max and his classmate were in the back, hurling pieces of paper at each other and throwing down challenges like "I dare you to eat this plastic spoon". (Which, by the way, was halfway gone before the mom in my passenger seat intervened.) In an effort to keep them relatively calm, or at the very least not eating plastic, I handed Max the iPod.

"Here, dude. You be the DJ."

Immediately, he went to his favorite song, and turned up the volume. "GIRLS All I really want is GIRLS Two at a time I want GIRL-"
"THAT IS ENOUGH!" I shot him the look of death over my shoulder, and the other mom snickered and shifted in her seat.
Silently, he returned my death gaze, and then went back to the iPod, scrolling for a more appropriate tune. I felt bad, because he loves that song and I haven't objected to it before. But, you know, we're on a field trip. There are *lots* of things I don't object to, but I don't do them on a field trip. Like shots of Patron, for example.

And then, louderthen before, a new song blared forth-
"KICK OUT THE JAM, MOTHERFUCKE-" "MAX I AM NOT KIDDING GIVE ME THAT IPOD RIGHT NOW."  I reached forward and smacked the power button so hard that I hurt my hand.

The car was silent. The mother next to me sat frozen in stony silence, and the two boys were in silent hysterics in the backseat.

I am pretty sure I won't have to drive any more field trips.

1 comment:

STATJR said...

I'm pretty sure I remember something similar happen when I was a kid... except my mom would have yanked me out of the car and hit my "off" button had I said MF... all while probably cussing at the same time. (Every dirty word I know... except FUCK... I learned from my mom!)