Santa is a slacker and other revelations

At 10am on Christmas morning, Lucy and I got in the car. As we drove to the beach, she looked out the window, and reminisced about her Christmas.

"Mom? You know what I don't like about Santa Claus?"

Really. She's FIVE. What is there not to like about Santa Claus, on Christmas morning?

But she continued: "I didn't really.....well......he didn't wrap my present. So it wasn't much of a surprise."

I sat in silence.

Santa had brought her a gorgeous wooden dollhouse, filled with furniture and dolls and acessories - everything you could imagine, right down to a teeny, tiny box of tissues with real Kleenex inside. It even had a roadside farm stand and a swingset and picnic table out front, all carefully laid out - by Santa, of course, right after he got done working the dinner shift at the cafe.

"Lucy, it would have been really hard to wrap that - it's pretty big! I was surprised that it fit on the sleigh!"

"Yeah, but....it just would have been nicer if I could have had to guess what was inside, and then rip the paper off. It's just more of a surprise that way."

Now, Santa was pissed.

"Did you know you were getting a dollhouse for Chrsitmas, Lucy?"
"Well, no...."
"THEN IT WAS A SURPRISE."
"But..."
"No. Just.......No. No way. You got an amazing gift, and there is no way that could have been wrapped and I cannot BELIEVE you are complaining about this."

"Yeah, you're right." she said cheerfully. Because she is like that. The girl can turn on a dime.

A few minutes passed in silence. And then, from the backseat, her voice rang out clear as a bell.
"Mom? How long until my birthday?"
"Your what?!"
"My birthday. I can't wait for my birthday. What can we do for my party? I want to ride horses, can we ride horses?"
"Uhhhmmm."
"And can I bring all of my friends? Can we ALL ride horses?"
"What?! Lucy, I cannot talk about your birthday today, it is still Christmas. Christmas MORNING. Your birthday is in April. We will talk about your birthday this spring. If you still want to go on a horseback ride in April, I will take you."
"Okay!" she answered cheerily.
Another few minutes passed.

"Mom?"
(sigh)
"Yes, Lucy?"
"When's Halloween? I can't wait for Halloween. I just love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday and I can't decide what I am going to be fo-"
"Stop. Please stop. Let's not talk about any other holidays until we get through this one, okay? Please?"

"Okay momma!" She sat, pensive. I could see the little wheels turing in her head. WHY didn't I bring her new coloring book. CURSES. Here it comes, I can see her winding up, and......
"Hey mom, when are we going to go on an airplane again? I just love going on vacation."

Just Shoot Me.