Sunday, September 26, 2010

Where were you when the D string broke?

I'll tell you where I was. I was standing on the steps of the bar, begging to be let in.

Friday night I went to great lengths to work my shift AND have a personal life. You would think that by only working 4 nights a week, I would have ooodles of time to whoop it up. But when 3 of those 4 nights are the weekend, well...... let's just say I don't get out much. And if I do, I have to forgo sleeping entirely.


Which is why Friday, I drove from one side of the island to the other. Three times.

We had tickets, you see. Tickets that I had the foresight to buy on presale. I had an elaborate plan which involved a hotel, a babysitter, a once-in-a-lifetime musical event, and my husband. And it almost worked out.

So close.

And yet, so fucking far. And expensive. Christ it was expensive.

It would have been worth it, you know........if it had worked out as I planned.


The plan went something like this:
Work all day, pick up the kids, run to the chiropractor.
Pick up dinner, drive to hotel across the street from the bar that is hosting aforementioned once-in-a-lifetime musical event.
Drop off kids and husband.
Race back to the other side of the island.
Race back again.
Meet husband at bar.
Enjoy once-in-a-lifetime musical event.
Stagger back to hotel.

Here's how it actually turned out:
Work all day.
Pack bags.
Pick up kids, go to chiropractor. Realize I didn't make plan to feed children dinner.
Order food from the restaurant by phone for pick-up.
Run into restaurant, promise them I will be back to work my shift just as soon as I drop off the kids and the husband at the hotel.
Realize the food I ordered is not ready yet.
Go to boutique next door and pick out a gift for co-worker to buy his daughter.
Run back into restaurant, and realize the food is still not ready.
Check the time.
Retract promise to be on time for my shift.
Shove food in a bag.
Run to car - sweaty and disgusting.
Beg husband to stop for coffee.
Husband forgets and drives by coffee shop.
Drive to a different coffee shop.
Race to hotel and drag everyone out the car.
Check in, strip, change, apply lipstick, run back to lobby, race back to restaurant.
Still working.
Can't believe I am still working.
Finally just leave because otherwise I will miss once-in-a-lifetime musical event.
Buy cigarettes because I just can't take it anymore. Vow to quit later.
Quick stop to give smokes and a lei to Killah, who's moving. I'l celebrate with her tomorrow. But not tonight. There's this event, see. A musical event. Once-in-a-lifetime. I have tickets. I bought them presale. FUCK.
Drive at top speed to bar. For the event. Musical. Once-in-a-lifetime. Started 2 1/2 hours ago. FUCK.
Wonder why there are so many parking spaces open.
Run up stairs pulling on my stilettos.
Hold out hand, grasping precious pre-sale ticket.
Get denied entry.
"We're done." the guy said.
Text husband. Who is inside the bar. Enjoying the onc- Oh never mind.

No answer.
Text again.
No answer.
Get waved in to go find him.
Go straight to bar for Mr. Daniels. Skip the Coke. Straight whiskey at this point. Who's got the time to mess with a mixer.
Text husband.
Tell him he will find me at the bar drinking.
I love this song.
Song ends. Husband arrives. I have relaxed enough to accept a mixer with my whiskey.
"Ready to go?" He asks. What? Why? I got in! I'm here. We don't have to go! This is a once-in-a-li-
"d string broke."
"They're done."
The bar is emptying now. The music is over. I am holding a half empty plastic Bud Light cup.
I'm sweaty. And exhausted. And drunk as hell. And angry. I'm a teensy bit angry.
"What do you mean 'No'?"
"I am still drinking."
"Um. Okay."
So we go outside, and sit with some friends, and I order another drink as the crowd thins and the musicians pack up.
"Great show." everyone agrees.
"I got great photos" another tells me.
"You should have gotten here earlier."

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