This weekend, I was lying on my sofa, minding my own business.
Huh. People don't honk their horns in Hawaii, never mind in my cul de sac, so I stood up to investigate. The mailtruck was parked in the street in front of my driveway.
Wow. Okay then. I must have gotten a huge package or something equally exciting. OH MY GOD I WON SOMETHING WHERE ARE THE BALLOONS AND THE BIG CHECK? More importantly - IS ED MC MAHON DEAD OR IS HE IN MY DRIVEWAY?
I went skipping down the stairs, and was met with the crankiest face ever.
"Are these your cars?" the mail lady snapped at me.
"Um" I looked where she was pointing. "Nooooo. Our cars are here! In our driveway....."
But my heart sank, because not only was I not going to be getting a bunch of balloons and a big check in the mail.......but my neighbors had parked their car in front of my mailbox. Again.
In fact, they were parked in front of EVERY MAILBOX in the cul de sac. In fact, they were parked in every square inch of the cul de sac - not just along the sides of the road, but also IN THE MIDDLE. There was literally no way to get into (or out of) the cul de sac.
The mail lady was climbing out of her van with her cellphone.
"This is ridiculous." she muttered. "I can't get to anyone's mailbox."
She took a few pictures, then called the postmaster. "You had better get down here." she sighed into the phone "This is ridiculous."
I was relieved, but at the same time completely petrified.
See, we are the new kids on the block. Granted, we've lived here for 5 years, but still.......we're the new guys. And the family that has a dozen cars for one house? They have lived here forever. The community center is named after them. So is a beach. And a bunch of other stuff. And they're local - and we are..........not. Not in the way that matters. There are bumper stickers on cars all over this island that say "Grown here not flown here" and "Aloha also means goodbye" and "Reinstate Hawaiian Nation" - all of which is to say we could live here for 80 years and still be the outsiders. Interlopers.
So if we were to approach our neighbors, well.........we would definitely be on their turf. Apparently, the entire cul de sac is their turf. Or at least, all the parking.
Until the postmaster got called in.
Somehow, federal offense trumps bloodline. As of this morning, the cul de sac is clear and two junkers were towed out at 8am. And the neighbors? Have a whole bunch of cars in their driveway. I guess they kept every car they have ever had since they were born. Here.
46 minutes ago