I think I can I think I can

I may have to stop while I write this, to physically hold my eyelids open.

2 red-eye flights in 4 days is a bad idea. 2 red eye flights with small children over 6 time zones in 4 days is a terrible idea. Expecting children that have flown on 2 red eye flights and through 6 time zones to sleep in different and strange places every night? Is the stupidest fucking idea I have ever come up with.

I am a moron.

So now I am getting mine. Payback is such a bitch. It's not that the kids are being unpleasant - given the circumstances, they are positively angelic. But me? I'm miserable.

I'm all sweaty and chilled and headachy and aggravated and disoriented and I got lost trying to drive back to my mom's house after meeting friends for lunch. I never get lost. Ever. And the single parenting thing is already driving me to drink. I had a 4 hour layover last night in LAX before our midnight flight ot the East Coast, and we spent 2 of those hours in the California Pizza Kitchen Express, where I ordered a Jack and Coke and the waitress took one look at me and brought a double. I would have been offended, had I not been weeping with gratitude.

Tonight I am climbing into bed as early as I can, leaving my mother to handle dinner. I'm curling up into a tiny ball, and sleeping long and hard. Because I may be a moron, but I'm no fool.