Tomorrow night, I will see my husband again for the first time in 3 weeks.
I know that there are happily married couples all over the world, who because of work or family or other myriad reasons spend months and years apart. I am not one of those people. But my husband, apparently, is A-OK with it. He should totally apply for some job at the North Pole or some other equally remote and high-paying gig, because clearly, he's not suffering like I am. Who knew? In my excitement to finally see him, I am driving 3 hours during rush hour traffic (so probably more like 4 or maybe 5 hours, honestly) to get to him as early as possible, and booking a hotel room for a night of romance.......and he is driving back and forth to Home Depot and probably wishing he had a few more days at home to get this fence done right.
I am not a huge proponent of hot and heavy phone calls, but I have to admit that when things get desperate just maybe having someone talk about how much they want to see you, and perhaps all of the terribly filthy things they are going to do to you when they DO see you would be kind of......nice. So last night, I was finally alone for a few minutes and he was home and actually answered his phone, and I was all "I can't wait to get my hands on you. I am going to wear some tiny and vaguely obscene thong to come pick you up and if you are into it we can just pull over on the side of the Long Island Expressway."
And he said "That's great, but I really have to go finish putting up this fence."
Wow. That's hot. I tried to go with it. I tried to be all "Honey, you are THE MAN and I can't wait to see that fence you are putting up and it is just so awesome and so manly of you to renovate the house and build a fence while I was gone, you know, using physical labor to release all of the sexual tension that you must have bubbling up inside you" what I was really thinking was "I am totally wearing granny panties to pick you up tomorrow."
But today, we reached a new low on the enthusiasm scale. I have tried to call him 3 or 4 times about last minute things I would like him to bring, and he's not even answering the PHONE any more. He's probably back at Home Depot, getting wood cut and buying more nails. Hot.
But that fence? Is going to be fucking EPIC.
5 hours ago