As if Memorial Day isn't depressing enough

I spent most of the morning lying on my sofa watching TV. Yes, that's right. Yesterday I went to the movies, today I watched TV. God knows what will come next, I'll probably play a Wii tomorrow or something equally unheard of. But not today. Today I still suck at video games and refuse to play them. Today, I lay on the sofa in front of the television, clutching a mug of chai and a heating pad. (More on that later).

First up, Julie and Julia.

Well, if I wasn't feeling shitty enough already, this just about did me in.

Oh, hello woman who started a blog and immediately found fame and fortune, and then within a year had an agent/ book/movie/future writing deal.

Oh, hello woman who traveled the world before women really did that sort of thing, and then lived in a gorgeous apartment in Paris, and then graduated from the Cordon Bleu, and got an agent/book/tv deal.

Nicely done. Glad I was already on the couch in my bathrobe, so that I could more efficiently assume the position of depressed unemployed underachiever. Excellent.

I needed help - STAT. I needed to lift myself out of the doldrums I had sunk into. I needed to feel better about myself and our little home.

And that is when I turned on the Hoarders marathon.

Nothing makes you feel better about your own shortcomings (especially where housework is concerned) like this train wreck. It was right around the time that they dug the second fossilized cat out of the mound of garbage in some chicks living room, that I started feeling downright celebratory. I practically skipped out to the kitchen, cheerfully surveyed my family lying on the floor playing Legos, and announced that a trip to town was in order. I may not have a book deal, but I do have a life and a family and a trip coming up and friends coming to stay and things to do and people to see and places to go and so I went out and bought a hunk of triple cream brie and a baguette (because you don't have to be in France to enjoy those) and made some meat sauce from scratch (no recipe or food icon required) and decided that cleaning the bathroom actually COULD wait until tomorrow.

It's not like we're missing a cat or anything.