Turns out, I wasn't so much unemployed as just taking a night off.

Oh calm down, of COURSE I didn't go back to work for that asshole my job. No no no, I sent out an APB and thank god someone was able to get me an interview and voila I am off to fill out new hire paperwork and I guess my first shift is, uh, tomorrow.

I really hope I don't fuck this up. Between the fact that I basically got the job as a favor, and the fact that I will technically only miss one night of work during the transition, this is just too good to be true. So I am frantically cribbing shot recipes and tasting beers (FOR WORK, not for FUN) and trying to bone up on my bartending skills (bwahahahaha I said "bone").

My point is this: I got another job. Thank God and Hallelujah. I have never been more relieved. Not only do I never have to go back to work for that awful, awful man who clearly hates me (and maybe most everyone else, I can't be sure) but I don't have to stress out about weeks of being unemployed and the slow season coming up, which would make this a difficult time of year to find a new job.

I'll be bartending, at night, in a bar where there is more of a party atmosphere. They are transitioning from a classic sports bar with huge TVs playing every game available and countless beers and shots and Jager on tap, to a more relaxed atmosphere. Less sports memorabilia, a vastly improved menu, and organic wines - I think I can do this.

Would you like a Jager Bomb? Perhaps a Buttery Nipple? No, not mine. What the hell is wrong with you?

Many thanks going out to my friends, who totally came through for me this weekend. Especially Trouble +1. Thanks, guys.