Sunday, March 21, 2010


I'm free. Well, for a little while at least.

Last night I got home from a slow night at work - which was also my last night at work - and crawled onto the bed mid-panic attack. With my heart racing and my breath shortening, I lay there listening to my pulse hammer in my ears, trying to calm myself down. I guess even when you know it is the right thing to do, quitting your job is still hard. Scary. Emotional. Stressful.

So in an effort to chill out and stop *thinking* about everything all the time, today I spent the day with family, at the beach, relaxing. Next week I hope I will be starting a new job. In the meantime, I am going to clean the house thoroughly and nap extensively.

How is that different from my usual routine, you ask?
Not much. I am known as a bit of a napper. But the cleaning thing is all new.

Baby Steps.

I don't really mind cleaning the house. It's not my favorite thing, but it's sort of nice to see the results of an hour of scrubbing and vacuuming. But when it somes to putting away laundry, it's a whole different ballgame. At some point this week, I have to put away the clean laundry. You notice I am not putting any pressure on myself to put the laundry away on any particular day - just sometime this week. When I feel like it. Even if I don't feel like it, I'm still going to do it. Because I can't find any clean underwear, and yet the hamper is empty and all of the clothes have been washed. Which means they are somewhere in that enormous pile of clothing that I am trying to ignore in the corner of my room. And on the sofa. And in each of the kids' rooms. And in the rocking chair. And on the drying rack. It's been dry for days (weeks?) but it still hangs there, waiting patiently.

And I will get to it......eventually. Right now, I think I will focus on my bowl of ice cream, and a nice nap.

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