I can make quite a fuss when I put my mind to it

Tonight, I am lying in bed, once again FREEZING MY ASS OFF.

People, I live in the south pacific. I did not move thousands of miles away from New England, at considerable expense and tremendous inconvenience, to be cold.

I want to be hot. All the time.

That is not the case here, at this time.

Tonight I have on a particularly tantalizing outfit - which may be why Sami is already sound asleep with his back to me.

Let me paint a picture for you......Fleece hat. Fleece jacket (the heavyweight Patagonia pullover, by the way - not some sexy half-zipped with nothing under it snowbunny kind of fleece jacket. Your MOM's Patagonia fleece. Know what I'm sayin'?) Size XL fleece sweat pants with the drawstring cinched up tight and double-knotted so that my intentions are perfectly clear. My pants are not coming off. Not tonight, maybe not ever again. It's that cold.
I also have on some knit wool socks (Thanks Aunt Linda !)

I am under a down comforter. I am shivering.

There is only one explanation.

I am a pussy.

Yes, I know, I know, that is not a nice word. But really. As I told Nat and Rachel today, I should be able to handle this - my ancestors were PILGRIMS for fuck's sake. We know cold. We can handle it. We're built for it. Hardy stock and all that. Survival of the fittest.

Meh. I'm fucking cold, and miserable. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Pocahontas.

So while I sit here, all put out and cranky, I am dwelling on the other shit in my life that is pissing me off that also happens to be beyond my control. Like getting my car registered.

When you buy a car from the dealership, they CHARGE you for the service of submitting all necessary paperwork to the DMV. I bought a car 5 weeks ago, and it still isn't registered. I am starting to get a little pissed off. I keep calling the dealership, and getting sent to various voicemails - and this point I am suspecting they don't even belong to current employees. Do you think they do that ? Keep a few ex-employee's voicemail accounts open, to forward irate customer calls to ? Do you think they forward me to the voicemail of that-chick-we-fired-last-month, and then giggle about it?

Well, they didn't count on me. I'm going down there in person tomorrow, to track down my @#$%^&* registration. (I only used all of those symbols because I couldn't think of a flowery enough curse to express my displeasure, without getting someone's panties in a twist. Hi mom.)

By the way, that brings me to a whole new development in my life. My mom, on Facebook. I am the lone holdout among my siblings who hasn't gleefully welcomed her with open arms to Facebook. I am a little freaked out about the whole deal. Because this is one of those times when I think to myself: What is she doing here ? She's an ADULT. Doesn't she have better things to do?

And then I get real quiet and realize: FUCK - I'm An Adult Too.

And as an adult, I can deal with this in a mature manner. I am going to ignore the entire thing completely. See? Problem solved. All better. Lalalalalalala I can't see you.

Moving on.

Baby update is this: The social workers called me at 7:45am and 7:55am this morning, to confirm baby's visit with family today. I have a lot of complaints about this, so let's start from the top.

1. Dont EVER fucking call me at 7:45am, unless I was supposed to be at work at 7:30am. And even then, be wary.

2. Don't ever fucking call me TWICE before 8am. There is absolutely no need for that. Ever.

3. Don't ever call me in the morning and ask me stupid questions without first checking your email and voicemail to see if the stupid question is answered there.

4. Don't call to confirm something that has been cancelled in writing. In your email.

5. Know where your foster children are. Especially the ones that were hospitalized in an emergency situation. It's your JOB. Call the hospital to maybe, oh I don't know, check on them once a day over the weekend since you are the person responsible for their care and wellbeing. I did. No, there;s no visit today - because baby is WITH parents IN hospital.

6. When you DO call the hospital, speak to a doctor, to get an update on the child's condition. And when the foster parent asks if you have spoken to the doctor, do not respond with "No, I only did what I needed to do." Finding out the child's condition IS what you need to do. You took custody away from the parents, because you felt they weren't taking care of the child. So DO BETTER. LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

7. When baby is released from hospital after a week-long stay, driving baby around to visits is not necessarily in best interests of sick baby. Be smart. Don't get baby sick again. Check with doctors before planning subsequent visits.

And now, let's discuss doctors. I am not one. So I don't know how it all works, but I know this. I followed doctor's orders. I called when things became questionable, they told me to go to the ER, I did, baby was admitted, social worker came, I left, end of story. Do not expect me to know what further information you need. You are the doctor, you have the medical records, I expect you to read them and provide care accordingly. This means making sure they are given the correct medications, fed the correct foods, and cared for properly.

Don't ask the person who has not been with baby for 5 days why the x-ray taken yesterday looks different then the one taken when baby was admitted. How the FUCK would I know? I have been sitting here, waiting for you people to call me, all weekend long.

So, that's me in a nutshell, no pun intended.