Monday, February 23, 2009

Gross things that happen

The suckage continues to build over here in paradise. Today, I had a particularly rousing collection of grossness. I hesitate to even TELL YOU about it, but in the end, of course, this blog is for me to get it all out in the open...

This morning, I pulled dried pieces of snot out of the baby's nose. Yum. Not my baby (because that trumps every gag reflex) and so, I was basically picking someone else's nose for them.

Then, I got puked on. I mean PUKED ON. And I am a reknowned sympathy puker. My cashmere sweaterwas totally COVERED in thick, sticky, barium-infused puke. It. Was. Awesome.


Not as awesome as the latest tantalizing tidbit. Something I suspect Lucy's little sleepover buddy left for me. Poop. On our white, terry cloth shower curtain.

Does that look like the world's largest washcloth to you? And why would you wipe your poopy butt on a washcloth ANYWAY, or a towel, or SHOWER CURTAIN. Especially when you had to step past the toilet paper and the flushable wipes to do so. I mean, it's not a trick - it's a curtain, hanging across the SHOWER.

Sometimes, I hate my life. I am now paralyzed with fear of what else may be looming in the corners of my home. A puddle of pee ? Skidmarked panties ? Hairballs ? Snot wiped on walls ? I laugh at these silly little mishaps - I am sure that there is something of hideous, legendary proportions somewhere in this house. I am going to need a LOT of Xanax for this.


derfina said...

From one sympathy puker to another, I empathize AND sympathize.

My advice? If you have to be a booger picker, be the BEST DAMN BOOGER PICKER on the island!

Hobocamp Crafts said...

sorry about that, last time we were over You ran out of TP- so I used your shower curtain... was that wrong?
Just keep thinking you're an amazing person to be a mom of two and to take care of this special baby. maybe that will help with the boogey harvesting