Monday, December 8, 2008

On why Hot Chocolate should never be consumed in the car

I am an idiot.

I took the kids ice skating at Rockefeller Center (awesome)
We got a killer parking space (awesome)
We got hot cocoa after ice skating (awesome)
The bakery didn't have seating, and they were closing, and the kids had to drink their hot cocoa in the car (not awesome at all).

So. This was yet another example of Things Mommy Does Not Handle Well Without Her Prozac.

I am trying. I am REALLY TRYING. But this is HARD. Thank god I am not a single parent because I would totally fuck these kids up if I was with them and responsible for them 24/7. After 2+ weeks of traveling, I am pretty much Over It. I have no patience, and apparently I am now a mute - because no matter what I say, it is though I have not spoken at all. I repeat myself. I do not yell. I speak calmly. I speak slowly. I speak clearly.
"No." This should be an easy one. Clear. Direct. No wishywashyness or debate indicated.
"Stand Right There." (with added hand pointing to specify the desired location of said standing).
"Put your coat on."
"That is for the airplane."
"Do your homework first."
"Eat your vegetables."
"Please stop arguing." For the record - using please does not make any difference to them AT ALL. They still don't do what I ask.
"Sign this card." (This one was a total disaster. I asked them each to sign their name. Lucy draws a bunch of stuff, which is OK, but then Max starts writing "from: Max". Only he miss-spells from. And Max. And now there is a bunch of scribbles on the nice card and no one's name is legible, and DAMMIT why can't you each just write your damn name and have that be it ? ARGH. Seems like a small thing, but it's a long tense story to explain the recipient of the card and why I am already really struggling with sending a card and gift to begin with. A story for another time.)

We got to my brother's house tonight for our very brief visit, and I felt like I was lecturing them from the moment we walked in the door.
"No running."
"Quiet Voices."
"Please stop arguing."
"I told you NO."
"Sit down."
"Eat your food."

The problem is this. By the end of the day (which it was by the time we got to my brother's) I have been ignored for 10 hours. I am aggravated. Frustrated. And my patience is at it's very tired, frayed, ratty end.

Some background: When I am ready to leave somewhere, one of two things happen. I say "Let's go." and they completely ignore me, OR I say "Let's go." And Lucy starts sobbing hysterically and Max starts begging to stay. Or to get something to eat. Or to have a toy bought for him. Or to watch "Five more minutes" of whatever is on TV.

And then I freak out. And yell. And they look at me as though I have just broken their hearts into a million tiny pieces. I really do suck. I know. They know. We'll muddle through. But in the meantime, pass the prozac please.

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