I really love my husband, a lot. a LOT a lot. Love him long time.
Our marriage has definitely changed over the years, with the addition of a few kids and the loss of a few ovaries and some hormones. We still sleep in the same bed, but seperately, under our own blankets. It minimizes the cuddling and groping I so look forward to each night (hah !) but it also allows him to sleep all night long, while I am up and down. It all started when Max arrived, and he ate throughout the night. Not romantical in the least. Then came menopause.
Let this serve as a warning, to men AND women. Menopause is BRUTAL. I went through menopause at 29, unbeknownst to me (I mean really, why would I suspect it at 29 ?) and it sucked. There are a host of fun symptoms and side effects of "the change". Like, night sweats.
Night sweats doesn't mean getting a little warm. Night sweats means you wake up and all of your bedding - from the outside of your comforter down to the mattress - is soaked. If you looked down on the sleeping, night sweating woman, you would see a dark outline of damp all over her. This is serious stuff. I wake up dyhydrated, for christ's sake. And obviously, this is not something you would want to cuddle with. Thus the seperate bedding. And the beach towel on my side of the bed. Hot.
The reason this is on my mind is that all of my bedding is once again piled in front of the washing machine. I fell asleep at 9pm, and started waking up at 11:30pm. Every hour or so, I would wake up, and lie there in my puddle as it turned cold, and pray that I would fall back asleep. I didn't want to wake up Sami, even though I desperately needed a shower and a dry blanket. It was a long night. My point is this - over the past few years, our relationship has evolved with our sleeping arrangements.
Seperate blankets means that he is usually completely unaware of how truly disgusting I can be - and so, he still finds me hot. And in return, I am a very devoted and doting wife - he's hot, he's sweet, he's funny, and I adore him.
And apparently, the kids have heard me expressing my love, because yesterday, Lucy proclaimed her love for daddy.
"I just fucking LOVE you."
Now THAT is passion.
23 minutes ago