Thankful

Thanksgiving Day began with an overpriced thanksgiving morning breakfast next to a drafty window. Hmph.
Then we went to the front desk, to clear up our registration issues.

In the process of discovering that they had no idea what room we were in - I don't know why they didn't just consult the LEGAL PAD) they also offered me bracelets for bleacher seats in the viewing stands for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We walked outside, and were met with barricades and a wall of people. There was no way we were going to be able to get to the stands without detouring several blocks - and it was cold. And we were worried that we would get over there, and then not be able to get out again if we needed to. So we ditched the bracelets.

We watched the parade for a little while, so the kids could see how big the balloons were, and the floats. But we were so far away, it was hard to tell ! After about an hour, we decided to go back to the hotel, watch the parade on TV, and get dressed for our Thanksgiving.

Back in the room, chaos reigned. I was trying to pack, the kids were running around like lunatics, we had the parade on full blast in addition to hearing it outside in the street, and the sleeper sofa was still pulled out, so we were edging around the room while I tried to iron our dress clothes. I had to have another drink. Or three.

Finally, we headed downstairs, only to be confronted by another mob scene at the front desk. We literally could not get to the front desk to check out, and I was not going to stand in line for an hour, so we just bailed on the whole thing and I figured I would call the hotel in a little while and check out over the phone. I had already called for the car to brought out of the garage, and when we got downstairs, we were told that they wouldn't give us our car until we had checked out. Fuck.

So I went back upstairs and did one of the rudest things ever. I walked right past the long line, pushed my way through the crowd, and got the attention of one of the desk clerks. I told her that the car was already downstairs, and our kids, my husband, and the valet were all standing down there. She got the picture, stamped the ticket, and I ran down to the waiting car, which the valet had unlocked and allowed the kids to get into in the meantime.

I pulled a u-turn in front of the hotel, and drove the wrong way down a one-way street. The parade had just ended, and there was just a wall of humanity moving slowly away from the parade route. I had my NY driving ability in gear, so I just charged through, and hopped on the highway, getting out of town in record time. We were heading for Westport, and a restaurant called the Red Barn, to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

It turns out the Red Barn is a restaurant that is very popular with the senior citizens of Fairfield County. Every table had a crowd of blue hairs, all hunched over these plates that were just PILED with food - hence the popularity, I guess. The doggie bags would feed a family of four. It was outrageous, the amount of food they were putting on those plates. And while I was sitting there, getting all worked up about how much food was going to waste, and how no one should ever eat that much food in one sitting, my aunt looked over my shoulder and said "Is that man throwing up?"

Why yes, yes he certainly was. Right outside the window. Not 5 feet away. And he was facing me and puking into the landscaping, so i had a front row seat to the Greatest Show on Earth. Awesome.

While the old man was retching into the shrubs, a firetruck, ambulance and police car all pulled up with their lights flashing. Oh good, I thought, this nice old man is going to get some medical attention. But no. They were there for some other old guy who was having a medical emergency in a different part of the restaurant.

The whole situation was so bizarre that really, the only thing I could do was laugh.

Once everyone was done puking, and CPR-ing, and eating, we got back in the car and headed for Boston, to have Thanksgiving meal number 3 - this time with Sami's family. We arrived, we sat, we chatted, and then drove to another aunt's house to sleep. And it was good. The end.

More later.

Working Backwards

Due to unforeseen circumstances - REALLY unforeseen - I have been without internet since Wednesday. I am sure the twitch I developed as a result will go away eventually, but in the meantime I have a lot of catching up to do.



And I will.



Here Goes.



So, Wednesday, we drove from Virginia to New York City. We were warned about the traffic, and how long it was going to take, and how awful it would be - it was totally fine. Not bad at all. Nothing worth mentioning. The drama began only after we got to NYC.



We get to NYC, and frankly, it is taking me a while to get my driving moxie back. People are cutting me off, and I am feeling very intimidated and unsure of myself. Which is totally not like me at all - I can drive any cabbie right off the road if need be - and Sami finally asked me what was wrong the last time someone pulled out in front of me. "Honey, just keep going, you know how to deal with these people - don't be nice, just go." Considering where this advice was coming from, I decided to take it with a grain of salt. Because let's just be honest for a moment - who was the licensed driver here ? Right, that would be me. Ahem.



I drove to the hotel. Actually, I drove past the hotel, then had to take an extra 10 minutes to circle around the block and actually stop in front. We get out, hand our keys to the valet, grab our bags, and head to the lobby. Where we were met by a disgruntled crowd, both in front of the desk, and behind it. Everyone had a drink in hand (I told you this was my kind of place....) but the line was definitely not moving. Eventually, word trickled down. The computer system was down. They were registering everyone manually - and what I mean by "manually" was, writing everyone's name down on a legal pad. I am not kidding.



So after a while, we get a room. We have to be escorted upstairs, because they cannot program any room keys. So the bellman takes us up to the room we have been assigned. We go up 12 floors, we twist and wind and turn through these long dark hallways, and I realize I will NEVER find my way back to the elevator. Finally, we reach our destintion. I have no idea how it is possible to walk that far and still be in the same building. The bellman swings open the door - and someone is in there.



Awesome.



So we all turn around, and head back to the lobby. I am not lookng forward to getting back in that line. The bellman suggests that maybe we should go get dinner, and check in later. He offered to store our bags, and we decided that would probably be the best plan of action.



So I knelled down in the middle of the hallway outside the hotel bar, and start opening our suitcases, looking for warm clothes. I basically unpack and repack 3 suitcases, with a huge audience of totally harried and pretty drunk hotel guests, who are all stuck in the lobby.



We hand off our bags and go to dinner. THAT was awesome.

Blue Ribbon Restaurants



Then we went to FAO Schwarz, but they were closing. Fuckers. So we went and spent some money at the Disney Store. We were going to go watch them inflate the balloons for the parade, but it is (in case you were not aware) really FUCKING COLD in New York at the end of November. And windy. So we went back to the hotel. I stopped at a liquor store on the way, so that I would be prepared for whatever might be waiting for us in that lobby.



And when we got there, sure enough, there was still no computer. No room keys. Just the trusty old legal pad. So after explaining that actually, someone ELSE had been in room 1251, the woman at the desk bustled into the back office. She came out 10 minutes later with a smile. "I found you another room !"



She went over to Ye Olde Legal Pad to record our new room number. And surprisingly, it turns out someone was already in that room, too.



So then she just looked at the list, picked a room that didn't have a name next to us, gave us a serious room category upgrade, and sent us on our way - me clutching the paper bag from the liquor store, Sami carrying a suitcase's worth of winter clothes that we had discarded in the heat of the lobby.



Once in our room, with our bags, I tried to get online. Nothing doing. I called downstairs, and was told that because the registration computer was down, I would not be able to accessx the hotel's internet, because I was not technically a registered guest yet. By this time, they had the computers at the front desk up and running, but there was a serious backlog. They told me to give them 15 minutes.



I took a shower, and tried again. Nothing. An hour later, still nothing.
I finally just sat down with my bottle and a plastic cup out of the bathroom, and decided to just forget the whole thing. After all, it was the night before Thanksgiving. And I was on vacation.

More in the next post......