Monday, August 30, 2010

And somehow it's still dirty

It was just a little more than a week ago that my house was cleaned (well, sort of) and wouldn't you know, it's dirty again. Today, after taking the children - the ones that really make this house dirty to begin with, BY THE WAY - as soon as I finished taking them to school, and running errands, I came home and looked around, dismayed at the aftermath of a weekend spent hanging around the house. My friend, who was keeping me company today while I was running errands, immediately began straightening up. Because she knows the state of my house makes me crazy and Beause she knows I feel overwhelmed and depressed at the prospect of ever conquering it on my own. And in my mind, when people come over to hang out and instead start straightening the piles of art projects and magazines and junk mail, you know that you really should do something about the mess.

So a little while later, after I had dropped her off in the sanctity of her own (much cleaner) house, I returned home, bound and determined to get this house clean again.

I even took off my new pants - so I could get down on my hands and knees and really scrub stuff.

And an hour later, right after I had hosed out the fun room (which is painted and almost ready to be used again) and while I was sweeping the front porch, I realized that I had no pants on.

Mind you, I kept sweeping - but suddenly I was aware of the fact that I was indeed without pants in full view of the neighbors. And that I had just moments before been spraying the deck with the hose, also pants-less. It will come as no surprise to you that half of my neighbors really don't like me. The other half park in front of my house. So.

ANYWAY as I stood there in my nude colored lace thong I realized that A. From a distance I looked completely naked from the waist down and B. I should have just called and had someone come clean again. That I was - in every way - a total failure at cleaning my house. Not only was my house still dirty, but now I had offended my neighbors again, I was all sweaty from the effort of cleaning in the mid-day heat, and now also wet and streaked with mud from the hosing of the deck.
So I went right into the house and got online and started cruising the household help section of Craigslist (right after a quick glance at the "Best of" and "Missed Connections", natch) and I found a posting from yesterday - a woman who actually listed some references in her ad, and said she was thorough and had experience and I thought "hmmm." It didn't say where she lived, or how much she charged, but I liked her ad. Her name was Katy.

And so I emailed  her. Yes I did. Asked her to email me back with more info. And I felt instantly better. I stood up and practically skipped downstairs to get the mail (after putting some shorts on THANKYOUVERYMUCH).

And in my mailbox was a flyer that had been stuck in there at some point in the previous few minutes. Two sheets of paper, typed, with a business card stapled to the top and a note hand-written on the bottom. From Katy. Yes, the same Katy I had just emailed.
She's my neighbor.
I couldn't make this shit up.
I hope she didn't see me in my underwear. But then again, maybe she did, and that is exactly why she left me a note.......


Stacy Q said...

I saw a plaque that said "My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it."

How do I become friends with your friend who cleans up for you? hee hee! No, I couldn't handle it, really, I totally get embarrassed when friends come over and I can see their eyes going from one pile, to the next, to the counter that is totally covered with stuff that needs to be dealt with...

Judie said...

Some of my friends say that my house is VERY clean. I like those people, but I know that they would not know "clean" if it jumped up and bit their noses off.

No matter what I do, my house always feels dirty to me. I have a sign on Rod's highboy that says, "you may touch my dust, but you may not write in it!" This is no joke.

When you live in the desert, dust is a way of life. When you have two dogs, leaves and seeds all over your tile is a way of life.

Here's the "way of life" that I want: A MAID!!!