Saturday, June 6, 2009

Mama Bear

(Edited because I can see clearly now the rain is gone.)

Things are ugly in my head, in my heart, in the house. Heated, frustrated, infuriated.....are all ways you could describe how I am feeling right now. I want to scream, honestly - just an attempt to get some of this boiling aggravation out of my system.

My husband, who is usually a pretty err-on-the-side-of-caution guy when it comes to our kids, did not follow his normal trajectory today. In general, our parenting styles mesh nicely, we have similar expectations and reactions, a very even playing field in the world of parenting, with shared duties, joint decision-making, and 100% backup when one of us takes a stand with the kids. In this case, however, he has completely left the playing field, and was running in circles in the parking lot, metaphorically speaking. I am not sure how to react, except with my instinctual intense, burning fury that pops up when my kids' well-being is involved. Fury that it would be inappropriate to share, really, at this time, because it is so pure and all-consuming. If I looked in the mirror and saw horns right now, I would not be at all surprised.

This is one of those days where you have to actually restrain yourself from saying and doing all of the things you want to say and do. And you have to make a concerted effort to not mis-direct your anger. It should all be directed with laser-sharp intensity and precision.

And my husband might want to invest in a helmet.

Note for all parents: Allergic reactions of any kind are not something to mess around with. Especially in children. Some warning signs: Kids who are experiencing pronounced, unusual swelling especially on the face, an unidentified rash, lethargy, skin that is dry and hot, bloodshot eyes first thing in the morning - when seen all together, these are signs that your child needs to see a doctor or nurse or other medical professional. Seriously. And not Doctor Fucking Mom or your healer or Doogie Howser or the lady at the health food store vitamin counter. A Medical Doctor. Seriously.

No comments: