I was going to title this post "Epilogue" but the idea of this being the end was too unnerving.
I mean, really. I am not going to close the door and turn the key and then walk away forever. You know I could never do that. I haven't got the willpower.
This is my 1000th post here. Isn't that something? And I have been thinking quite a bit about what I wanted to write for this milestone. Want I wanted to share. But really, what's left to discuss? There's not a lot that you don't know, gentle reader.
We have talked about self image and stretch marks and the infamous 11's that I Botoxed to kingdom come (several times).
We have talked about miscarriage and infertility and menopause.
We have talked about loving men and loving women and having sex and not having sex and how all of it was okay.
We have talked about giving birth and adopting and fostering.
We have talked about raising other people's children, and deciding not to raise other people's children, and the fact that sometimes, I don't even LIKE other people's children.
We have talked about finally writing a book, and then not finding an agent or a publisher.
We have talked about waitressing and roller derby.
We have talked about traveling, and about not wanting to get out of bed.
We have talked about severe depression and extreme joy.
We have talked about my life, and the lives of my family and friends, and everyone has been a very good sport about the whole thing.
And we have talked about Life Lists.
A few months ago, Sarah gave me a Passion Planner. Her note inside reads: "Author Your Fate".
And I sat down, and turned to the page corresponding to the date, and I wrote "I want to start my own business." And in the box labeled This Week's Focus I wrote: "Give notice at work."
So I did. Because I don't do shit halfway. I think we can all agree about that. I am an ALL IN kind of girl. And I knew that something in my life had to shift. I had to get control over my attention-deficit approach to life, dabbling in a million things and investing whole-heartedly in very little.
CPS had just called to see if I was ready for a new placement, so at first, I thought maybe I was about to get another foster case. They called again a week later while we were away on vacation, and when I didn't answer the call (I was on an airplane over the Pacific) they left a message assuring me that I was next on the list, and would get a call the next time they had a baby that needed fostering. So I sat around, very unemployed, the vision of a domestic goddess - cooking dinner and washing baby clothes and organizing things and waiting for the phone to ring.
When it finally did, it was not a social worker on the other end of the line. It was my destiny calling.
I don't really understand it myself, but I am buying a food truck and hitting the road.
I'll send a postcard when I have an update.
7 hours ago