Sunday, June 29, 2014

Things you don't expect when you move to Hawaii

1. Extreme Use of Chopsticks
everything, including rice and soup, is eaten with chopsticks

2. Hitch hikers with surfboards
optimism at it's finest

3. Socks and slippers
But not - I repeat NOT - socks with sandals. Big, big difference.

4. Moldy Leathergoods
Don't even bother bringing that leather jacket with you.

5. Turtles on the beach
It's like Animal Planet, but in real life.

6. Mayonnaise on everything
Would you like some mayo with that mayo?

7. Baby Luaus
200 people and a band? That's pretty low key for a first birthday party around here.

8. Cold Weather
Everything is relative, but when the temperature dips below 70F people walk around in parkas and wool hats. Throw in some rain and they Lose Their Shit.

9. Hot Weather
It's hard to say for sure, but September may be the hottest month. Around these parts extreme heat has more to do with the absence of any cooling tradewinds, rather than overall temperature.

10. Infrequent trips to the beach
Who has time to go to the beach? People on vacation. That's who.

11. Costco. Your one stop shop.
When our realtor told us to go join Costco, we laughed. She wasn't kidding. It is the only place on island to go for diapers, milk, bread and other assorted items if you live on a budget.

12. Avocado snobbery
All year round, we have amazing avocados growing all over the island. Over 200 varieties. And some are much, much better than others.

13. It's not that expensive
Don't get me wrong. It's expensive, and if you don't use common sense and some smart shopping, you won't even live paycheck to paycheck - you'll end up living credit card to credit card. *

14. Your Maui Family
Many people find that - by moving to the most isolated island chain on earth - they found themselves less lonely than they ever were on the mainland.

*Some recommendations for the newly slippah'd: start carpooling, bartering, and shopping at farmers markets and mom-n-pops, cut back on all things refrigerated, split Costco trips with friends (because who needs 50 rolls of toilet paper?) and you will find some hope.

** The nice thing about moving 5000 miles away from your biological family is the opportunity to create your own family - which means you finally get to choose who to spend holidays with. Almost everyone you know on island has a plan for the holidays - and it is usually an open door policy. So if you get invited, show up with a dish, a bottle of something to share, and an open heart. You are creating more than community - you are creating family.

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