My kid just asked me if "teabagging" was a real thing.

I'm walking by his room and I stick my head in the doorway and say "G'night, see you in the morning."

And he says "Hey mom, is teabagging really a thing? Or  is *** just kidding?"

And I say "What the WHAT?!"

Whatever happened to "Goodnight mom"?

Dammit.

So I took a deep breath and stepped into his room and said "I'm sorry, I think I misunderstood you. What did you just say?"

AND HE REPEATED IT.

If there was ever a moment when I wanted to run screaming out of a room, this was IT. I stood there, clenching and unclenching my fists, and trying like hell to figure out what to say. And hoping that when I opened my mouth I didn't puke.

Okay, mama, think. First, I need to figure out what he knows. Or what he *thinks* he knows.

"Hm." I played it very cool. "What did *** say it meant?"

"Well, he kept bending his knees and kind of squatting and saying he was teabagging. He did it over and over again. And while he did it he said "Teabagging, oh yeah, I'm te-"

"Okay, thanks I get it."

Oh my god.

I was gagging. I couldn't breathe. I did NOT want to talk about this ANYMORE.

" Max, that kid is awful. Yuck. Gross. If he ever does that again walk away - quickly. And please, do not ever repeat that phrase. I never want to hear you say 'teabagging' and if you say it in front of anyone else and I find out about it I will SPANK YOU."

His eyes got wide and he said "Yes mom, I won't ever say it again mom."

Which is the right answer DING DING DING GIVE THIS BOY A PRIZE because he is only 11, after all.

Yes, that's right. My 11 year old heard about teabagging from another 11 year old.

Their testicles have barely descended. Oh, good god.

I am skipping my mug of Lipton tonight, I just don't think I can stomach it.