Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What an unfortunate use of needlepoint skills

I am from New England, which is a funny place to be from. Full of contradictions, New Englanders have a distinctive accent that wavers between high-and-mighty and completely uneducated, they keep to themselves which can come off as being incredibly rude and exclusionary, and they embrace both ends of the political spectrum from liberal to conservative. Sometimes in the same sentence.

On the one hand, we New Englanders are sensible, no nonsense folks. We wear sensible shoes, we drive sensible cars, we own a sensible winter coat, etc.

On the other hand, we also embrace pants with animals embroidered on them, stupidly expensive sports like sailing and polo, and home decor with irreverent sayings that are supposed to be amusing but instead are borderline creepy. Case in point: This little gem my mother gave me shortly after my divorce. I was 20 years old, dating for the first time ever as an adult, and I can assure you that this put a damper on things in her guestroom, where I was living at the time, which I imagine was the whole point of giving it to me.

Like the classic musical number "Baby, It's Cold Outside" which my friend Matt recently pointed out seems to be a song about date rape, this is another entry in the annals of "I can't believe that's considered festive. Or appropriate." And then, just when you think you've gotten as festivly uncomfortable as possible, rising above the fray, there is my absolute favorite piece of holiday decor, the collectibles that remind me of home and traditions and the ones I love,  that really says "It's the holidays. Relax and let me help you enjoy the season.":

Santa and his merry band of carolers.

You guys, meet The Eunich:

My gosh, I just love the holidays.

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