Because we are not Christian, Easter starts with great big baskets full of candy at dawn, and our entire day revolves around those baskets, and that candy. And later on, maybe a ham or something. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
We subscribe to the "Candy Day" system, wherein during a "candy-based holiday" like Easter and Halloween, the children are allowed - nay, encouraged - to eat as much candy as they physically can for the entire day. They must intersperse the candy with 3 balanced meals, but other than that, they can sit there and consume all the candy they want. All candy, all day. They eat at a steady pace, taking breaks, generously offering up the candy they don't want so as not to waste their time.
Sometimes, they lie down for a bit and just enjoy the high.
And then, after 12 hours, any remaining candy gets thrown in the trash, and they are done with the candy.
The sugar crash happens while they sleep. They wake up the next day feeling vaguely nauseous and a bit run-down, and spend the day lying around trying to rebalance their blood sugar.
But they sure as hell don't ask for candy.
Now, while the children may follow the candy day system, I do not. I keep a stash for a week or two, usually in the back of the pantry or in my bedside drawer. I don't share, and I keep only the good stuff. I am extremely selective in my candy consumption, and I have no interest in candy that is chewy, or hard. I like chocolate, mostly. Peanut m&ms. Sometimes a nice malted milk ball. Nerds for the nostalgia factor.
Don't try to give me jelly beans. I won't eat them. I think they are a blight on the landscape of Easter.
Hands down, my favorite candy is the Cadbury Mini Egg. Not the Hershey ones - Cadbury. They come in a dark purple bag, and they have a crunchy candy shell and they are perfection. At the first sign of Easter displays, I rush to the store and stock up.
This year, sadly, there were no big bags of Mini Eggs to be found, just the small "individual size". I don't know what "individual" they had in mind when they decided on the number of eggs each little bag would contain, but here's what I know: it's barely a fistful. Just a few. A meager portion. A ration, if you will.
It's a conspiracy and it's bullshit and it totally ruined my Easter.
I didn't give up easily. I kept the dream alive. I went from store to store, and each time I entered the Easter candy aisle my heart would race. Maybe today I would find a 1 pound bag of precious Cadbury Mini Eggs. Maybe, just maybe.
So yesterday, my heart broken, and mini egg season at an end, I trudged down the aisle looking for something - anything - that might possible take away some of my pain.
And that is when I spotted them.
Yes, I know. Peeps are disgusting and they only thing they are any good for is roasting over a roaring fire for s'mores. I get that. But Peepsters are just so much more than Peeps. In fact, they bear no resemblance to Peeps whatsoever. They are chocolate covered, marshmallow-filled, bite-sized pieces of sunshine.
And they come in a big bag.
They don't judge me with their limited portions. They don't mock me by being elusive during the Easter season. They were there for me when I needed someone.
They totally saved Easter.
Mini Eggs, there's a new Easter treat in town. And if I pace myself, I can make them last until next weekend.
I ate them already, actually.
But tomorrow, I will return to the stores. Not in search of Mini Eggs, but on the hunt for Peepsters.
Because the only thing better than a Peepster is a Peepster on clearance.
6 hours ago