F*&^%$ ponies

So! It's the day after my daughter's sixth birthday, and I am trying to get her birthday party together. Yes, thank you, I realize that the time to plan a party would have been BEFORE her birthday, but I have been stymied by the pony factor.

The pony factor would be the same factor as "the bouncy castle factor" or "the playspace factor" or "the conflicting date" factor - persons and/or details that are key to the celebration are unavailable, and you are left holding a stack of invitations, a bag of balloons, and reassuring a kid that wants to know whether their birthday party is going to take place before their next birthday.

This is far more frustrating than the good old "weather factor" which is something that you cannot predict (no matter what the meteorologists with their 7 day forecasts would like you to believe). The weather factor has to be dealt with on the day of the party - or, if you are really lucky, the day before - when it becomes clear that adjustments will need to be made to accomodate the current conditions.

"The pony factor" can cause a person to hold off on setting the date and sending out invites. It can lead to days of hard-hitting questions like "Mommy, am I going to have a birthday this year?" And it's all my damn fault, because she wanted to go on a pony ride, and then a friend gave us a gift certificate, and suddenly BAM we had ponies! But, as it turns out, not so much.

Pony wranglers are BUSY y'all. It's like, when you want to get your kid into a good preschool and you have to get them on the list at birth. Pony parties are, apparently, the same deal.

EVERYONE wants a pony for their birthday.
But if I don't get on their books soon, we're going to be riding ponies at Christmas.
Which would actually make for a cute holiday card, but would ensure that my newly six year old daughter will tell everyone that I promised her a pony ride for her birthday, and then forgot to schedule it in time.

Which is not entirely true. I have been trying to schedule a time - me and about 100 other parents. So I am going to leave another voicemail, and send an email, and keep my fingers crossed that somehow, someday, we will ride ponies for her birthday.

Yee fucking haw.
To her credit, my daughter does have a plan B, which she deems an acceptable substitute.

Parasailing.

So, I really gotta get on this pony thing.