Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I am pretty sure this wins for rudest use of cellphone

I love my phone. I talk, I text, I tweet, I facebook, I photograph, I email, I surf the web.


I like to think that no matter how much time I spend on that damn thing, that I have some common sense.

In the slightly modified words of Kenny Rogers: you gotta know when to hold 'em, and know when to phone 'em. Know when to walk away, know when to hit "ignore".

Yesterday we were enjoying an amazing lunch at a gorgeous ocean front restaurant on the beautiful North Shore, which is a really special occasion kind of place. Pricey, but worth the splurge for a special event or once in a life-time trip to Maui kind of place. We went there for dinner when we bought our first house, to celebrate. That kind of special. My parents had never been there, and the view is phenomenal, so I wanted them to see it for themselves. And of course, I wanted them to have a memorable meal. Which they did. But for a very different reason then I had intended.

We had a gorgeous view right by the window, looking out on the beach and the ocean beyond. There was a light breeze, the palm trees rustled, there was a hushed murmer and clinking of glasses. The waves were crashing. We ordered drinks and looked around. My friend is a chef at this particular restaurant, and his wife had told him we were coming - he left the kitchen and came over to the table to say hello. We chatted, hugged, and he went back to work. We enjoyed the view and sipped on frozen drinks with umbrellas.

Sitting at the very next table were four people. I have no idea how - or if - they were related. I have no idea how well they knew each other. And from the outside, it seemed a mis-matched group.

There was an older couple, very refined, in slacks and collared shirts, a style sometimes referred to as "island casual" or "resortwear". With them was a couple in their 40's. Not refined. Not refined as in, he was in this beautiful restaurant in a tank top, with what we suspect was supposed to be Jesus H Christ himself tattooed on his shoulder. And I am here to tell you that there is nothing like 5 star dining with a good view of armpit hair and Jesus. She was dressed more appropriately, but showed her lack of refinement by shouting at a man standing out front, through the window of the restaurant, while seated at her table.

Surprisingly, their behavior was actually better than the refined older woman.
I didn't think she had it in her, but she managed to shock and appall everyone in our section of the restaurant.

She had a cellphone. Her phone kept ringing. And every time it rang, she answered it.
The first time, she excused her self, and walked out of range. I don't know if she left the restaurant, but I assume so - this is not the sort of place where people conduct lunches with phones and laptops on the table.

The second time, she once again excused herself from the table.
And came and sat in front of ours.
Right on the windowsill.
There she sat - with her butt planted not a foot away from me, chattering away on her phone. My view was now of her back.

I sat there, and methodically continued to eat. I was not going to make a scene. I didn't know who these people were - or who they thought they were - but they were illustrating clearly that money did not buy taste. Or manners, apparently.

My mother was horrified.
My stepfather was bemused.
I was disgusted.

I wanted to tap her on the shoulder with my fork and ask why, if she felt she needed to excuse herself from HEr table, why on earth she thought she should join MINE?

I wanted to shove her right out the window with one well-placed stiletto to the ass.

I wanted to stand up and find the manager and ask them to remove her AND HER phone from the restaurant.

And oh OH how I wanted to take a photo of her and tweet and facebook her terrible behavior all over the internet.

But my phone stayed in my purse, my foot stayed on the floor, my fork stayed on my plate, and her ass stayed on the windowsill. And afterward when she returned to her table, she apologized to her companions.
".......sorry about that!"

If only she had turned around and apologized to everyone else in the restaurant.

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