For a while now, I have been seeing "FML" here and there - in emails, texts, and on facebook.
"Hm," I would think. "FML. What does that mean?" It goes without saying that I am not very savvy when it comes to abbreviations and current trends in tweets, texts, and bathroom graffiti.
Considering that it took me about 3 months to work up the courage to ask someone what LOL meant when I first got online 12 years ago, the fact that I found out what FML meant inside of a year is miraculous. And all I can say is: FML where have you been all my life?
If there was EVER an abbreviation I needed on a daily basis, this is it. This is the brass ring.
For the uninitiated: Fuck My Life. (Now you don't have to google it! YOU'RE WELCOME.)
Because my days tend to run into one long mud-smeared blur of children/dog/food/job A/laundry/dishes/more food/job B/emails/facebook/blog/job C/naptime, FML is getting quite a workout.
Let's recap the number of times I was abe to put it to good use in one average day, shall we?
Out of cereal? FML
No clean underwear? FML
Can't find the baggies and the kids entire lunch is packed in plastic wrap? FML
Late for school and the road is closed while they mow the grass on the side of the road? FML
Forgot to put detergent in the dishwasher? FML
Forgot to put bleach in the washing machine? FML
Called in to work on your night off? FML
Credit card declined- the only one you have in your purse when you are standing at Walmart with a cart full of bagged groceries? FML
Drive 30 minutes out into the country and realize the gas light is on? FML
Lie down to take a nap before work and the neighbor decides to mow his lawn/use a power saw/show off his new dirt bike? FML
Send the kids outside to play and one comes back in 2 minutes bleeding? FML
Get to work and realize you do not have a hair elastic OR deodorant? FML
Shall I go on? Are you getting the picture?
So while it may seem trite, or juvenile, or overly simplistic, dammit this works. I can scream "F! M! L!" with all sorts of emotion, right in the checkout line at Walmart, and no one who would be offended has ANY IDEA what I am talking about. And people who do know what it stands for just smile and nod and give me a high five. And then watch the cart for me while I run out to find my checkbook.
42 minutes ago