Mary had a little lamb, who's fleece was white as snow. Until Daffodil ate it.

Tonight I made dinner for our guests, and while I know that as visitors to a tropical island they were probably expecting to be eating fish and pineapples, instead they got the food that I felt like cooking. Italian food.

Lamb, specifically.

I know, I know.....you don't come to Hawaii to eat lamb. But you should - especially if I'm cooking. And while I know that some people are horrified by the very idea of eating lamb, I am not one of them. I don't know where you stand on this issue, and honestly I don't much care. I just love to eat dead baby animals. Especially lambs.

And tonight was no exception. I had a huge grill with a covered lanai to grill on, a soft rain falling, a glass of wine and a cigarette, and a houseful of people to feed. Dammit, I was going to cook these fine folks some dead baby animal.

Even now, 5 hours and a long hot shower later, my hands still reek of the garlic that I so loving massaged into that gorgeous butterflied leg. I actually just found a sprig of rosemary in my bra a few minutes ago - left over from the rosemary I happily jabbed into the lamb, right before I roasted it over indirect heat on the grill for an hour. Oh the rosemary. And the garlic.

There were no leftovers.

Rest assured, I had a plan B for those guests who preferred a more tropical (or, you know, less sacrificial) meal. If there is one thing I have learned as a hostess, it is to ALWAYS have a plan B. Which is why I also prepared some fish - with a fresh salsa, even !

SEE! I AM CONSIDERATE.

I am so considerate that when I heard that it was one of the kids' birthdays, I went right out and bought a 10 pound birthday cake from Costco. I kind of forgot that they only eat organic and they don't really give their kids sugar and that probably getting their kid all high on corn syrup and shortening and refined sugars at 9pm was a TERRIBLE IDEA.

But I did it anyway.

Tune in tomorrow for the story of "How I talked my guests into sending all of our kids to day camp, took them to the tasting room at a winery for lunch, and then we were all too drunk to go pick up the kids at 3pm." That should be a doozy.