Sunday, July 25, 2010

Pimps and Hos

You know, here's the thing about this "theme". It's not fucking funny. Even when it's done right, it's not fun or funny. In fact, before tonight the only time I would find it amusing would be if it was held at say, a nursing home.

THAT would be funny.

Well, you'd think it would be funny.

But tonight, I came painfuly close to seeing that played out - and it was disturbing. And depressing.

I worked an event that was a Pimp and Ho theme, complete with a lingerie fashion show. They came early to set up - we were still serving dinner, and it was pretty chaotic. They were clearing out the front of the restaurant to make room for the DJ, taking tables out past people who were still eating. We had a pianist playing music during dinner service - and he gamely kept on playing while gigantic speakers were set up all around him, and tables were shoved together, and people were running cords and plugging in strobe lights and whatnot. Camera men were setting up, flashes were going off, and crowds of very strangely dressed people - mostly elderly women - were arriving.

"What's going on here tonight?" one of my customers asked as I was taking his order. I could barely hear him over the din. "Um. Well, it's a party, with a lingerie fashion show." I explained.

"Ah." he said. "I'll have the sashimi."
"Excuse me" said a woman as she pushed by decked out in head to toe red, complete with red feather tickler.
The final straw came when they started inflating the air mattress.

A fucking air mattress.

We thought they were using power tools, the noise was so loud.
"Gee," said one of the bartenders "that drill is making it really hard to hear the piano."
"That's not a power tool, that's an air pump." I rolled my eyes as I stomped past with the order of sashimi for my table.
"A what?"
"Oh," interrupted my customer, as a 60 year old woman wandered past in thigh highs and tap shoes. "I thought it was a vibrator or something."

"Hey, what's going on in here?" someone asked at the door.
"A lingerie fashion show."
"What's the bed for?" they asked, as they surveyed the scene in the middle of our dining room, and caught sight of the camera crew. "Are you filming a porno?"
"Are you serious?" our doorperson asked. "We're still serving DINNER."

1 comment:

Jamiel said...

What a day.
hope it is not crowded in there...