Friday, July 16, 2010

I may not have thought this through. Or maybe I did, and I forgot.

Really, I thought that the issue most impacting my decision vis a vis nose piercing, was the pain involved.

Which was negligible, compared to other life events like, say, having your stomach cut open and then sewn back together. Or having a largish tattoo tramp-stamped on your sacrum.

However, a few things have come up in the past 24 hours that have reminded me of some of the concerns that I had, that may have prevented me from doing this earlier.

Like the sign of rules posted above the time clock at the cafe. I have a terrible, sinking feeling that one of the rules is "no facial piercings". I didn't even think about that until yesterday when people started saying that they wished they could have their nose pierced, but that work didn't allow it. And I thought, "What do you mean they don't allow it? That's just ridi..........oh fuck."

So I may have just effectively ended my current employment, and I guess lots of places don't let you have your nose pierced so I guess what I have done is ensure that I start getting some paying writing gigs - immediately.

But as they say on the game shows: "And that's not all........you also get THIS -"
"This what?" you ask. What could be worse then doing something to change your appearance in such a way that you can no longer get a job without putting a small bandage on your nose every morning?

I'll tell you what. Did I mention my allergies? I have them. I have always had them. And these allergies lead to a lot of sneezing and blowing of the nose. The newly pierced nose. Which, it turns out, it kind of hurts to blow. Or wipe. Or sneeze with.

My allergies have kept me from doing LOTS of things that I might have tried when I was younger - cocaine, for instance. I was petrified that if I tried to snort anything up my nose I would sneeze. On a pile of someone's cocaine. And scatter it everywhere. And ruin the party, And possibly get myself killed. And so, I never tried cocaine. They should use that in a "Just Say No" campaign, because it totally worked for me.

But when I sneezed just a few minutes after getting my nose pierced, and then tried to blow my nose, I almost crashed the car.

Helpful hint - do not forcefully blow through a minutes-old piercing, and simultaneously squeeze it with your fingers. It hurts. And then you get tissue stuck on the piercing. Which you will have to pick off in the Whole Foods parking lot. Which may lead to some inadvertant drops of blood - just a few - before the whole thing clots up again.

So anyway, all of this has led me to purchase large-ish amounts of handkerchiefs and small adhesive patches, because we going to do this thing.

2 comments:

Ro Magnolia said...

Wow! You do have a way of making the whole nose piercing idea sound so very attractive! :S

Hope you don't lose your job - I think it's ridiculous that any employer can demand something like that.

Lanned said...

Brava on the piercing...wish I was brave enough. But I'm salaried and my office would have my head if I had facial piercings. Stupid office.