Saturday, May 15, 2010

You need to make less noise when you pee

Good morning. I am writing this post with what I would usually call a hangover, but to be honest, I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk. So, yeah. Not at my best.

As you know, either from my blog or from witnessing Daffodil in action on assorted holidays and celebrations, Mr Jameson and I have a very rocky relationship. He is a bad, bad man..........but I love him. I do. So last night, in honor of my Maui Family's imminent departure, I broke out the beloved green bottle and got cozy sloppy plastered.

Now, under normal circumstances in my adult, parent of two, homeowning life, waking up after an evening with Mr. Jameson wouldn't be such a big deal. I have my own bedroom, with a bathroom right across the hall. And I already know not to make plans after we have spent time together, Mr; Jameson and I. With years of practice, I have developed many ways to avoid the walk of shame because dammit, you just can't walk that walk carrying a toddler.

But today, in an interesting twist that harkens back to my high school, post- spring musical days of yore, I woke up with a house full of people, asleep in every room. On any other occasion it would have been such a sweet reminder of good friends and good times. Instead, I lay in bed wondering if I should get up and puke, or try to sleep some more, or just stick my head out the window and let 'er rip. It was a tough call. But I was petrified of waking people up, and didn't want to embarrass myself, so I lay there, suffering, waiting for people to begin stirring.

At the first sign of life, which arrived at the painful hour of 6am, I staggered out of my room to find Trouble and the boys awake and looking for aspirin. (OK, that was just Trouble, but still, I think that pretty much everyone in the house would benefit from some painkillers at this point).

After digging my economy sized bottle of (my anti-inflammatory of choice) out of my purse I was faced with the ultimate conundrum. In addition to really wanting to throw up, I had to pee. But I didn't want to pee because then everyone would be able to hear it in the relative quiet of my house at 6am.

Yes, I have issues. Can we talk about them later? Thanks.

In the meantime, I really have to get ready to go. I have a jam-packed day ahead, and I guess Mr. Jameson will be joining me in spirit. Whatta guy.

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