Last night, I wrote my resume.
It's been a while since I needed one of these, so I am both reticent and at the same time thrilled.
Reticent because it is weird to analyze what, exactly, you have done with your life, when one of your major accomplishments is remembering to defrost something for dinner. My resume is not what is thrilling. I have great references, but I have not lived an extraordinary life, to be sure. Honest and hardworking, yes. Over-achieving? Um, notsomuch.
But I AM thrilled, because I actually needed a resume yesterday.
You know what that means, right ?
A prospect. An opportunity. A chance.
I have a job interview this afternoon. I am hopeful that this position will be one where I am able to make some money while retaining my dignity. It's amazing how hard it is to find a job that allows you to feel good about yourself. I mean, even thinking back to elementary school, there was always some asshole making my life miserable because I was a better reader then they were or something stupid like that. If I tried hard, and accomplished something, sooner or later someone was going to give me grief. I didn't stop trying, and I didn't play dumb - but it wasn't much fun, is all I'm saying.
Now that I am a real, honest-to-goodness grownup, I am not willing to sit around and let people make me feel like less of a person for working hard and having goals and ambition. It doesn't matter if you have your GED or a PhD, finding the right job is hard, and since you spend so much of your time at work, you have to - at the very least - not hate being there.
So while the opportunity at the last place sounded great, as soon as I realized that it might not be exactly what I had been expecting, and that perhaps there was some sort of underlying narrative that I wasn't privvy to, I got the heck out of there. The last thing I need is more drama and misunderstandings - and when they started popping up during the first week, I took that "trial period" stipulation that they threw at me as THEIR out, and I used it to facilitate a fast escape.
And almost as soon as I had gotten home and written it off as a life experience, my phone rang. And it was one of those KICK ASS ROLLER DERBY GIRLS (as if there is any other kind!) letting me know that there was a position available with their employer.
Dude. Seriously. I love these girls. I love them from the tops of their grafittied helmets to the tips of their fishnetted toes. I love my life these days. I have been standing up for myself, and trusting my gut, and doing things that felt right and NOT doing things that felt wrong, and I have worked hard and been honest and helped my friends and raised my kids and loved my husband and No Job can change the way I choose to live my life.
(but I would still really like a job. I'll let you know how it goes.)