When your kids are so annoying that your ASS calls for backup.

My phone rang yesterday afternoon, as I was in the middle of yelling at my 8 year old for being a complete and total schmuck. He was upset because his PSP hand-held video game-y thing had not been charged while he was at school, and he was not going to have entertainment on the drive to town.

To illustrate his frustration, he got in the car and began flinging copies of Highlights magazine at his sister's head.

I launched into a heated lecture about how unpleasant he was being, and that is when my phone rang.

I held up one menacing finger, signalling both my need for quiet, and the fact that I was NOT DONE YET.

Then I answered the phone. It was my aunt, who seemed a little confused.

"I got a call from this number."

"No, you didn't, it's me, but I didn't call you."

"OH !!!! I heard someone talking about how unpleasant someone was being and I didn't know who I was listening to ! It was YOU !"

sigh.

So I filled her in on the parenting fail I had just experienced, and she laughed and luaghed and laughed because she obviously lost her mind sometime after giving birth to her 4th daughter.

Because my daughter is just as unpleasant as my son these days.

It's hot, she's lonely and bored and her school doesn't start for another few weeks - a fact which she holds me completely responsible for.

I am ruining her life.

If you don't believe me, you should read the book she brought home from the library last week.

Just like my aunt, the librarian laughed and laughed and laughed as my 4 year old daughter, who couldn't even see over the counter, tossed the book up on the circulation desk for check out.

I am going to make sure we have a better day tomorrow. Starting with bloody marys at daybreak. Who's with me.