I have no idea what you are talking about

I am sitting very comfortably on my recliner, ignoring the many MANY things I need to do today. Since we have made the decision and sent the notice to remove ourselves from Baby's case, I gotta pack up the baby stuff. Seriously. It's bumming me out.

And the 25 tanks of oxygen on my front porch? Yeah, those have to go too.....
Though I wouldn't see anything wrong with maybe putting on the mask for a few minutes and getting me some pure, medical grade oxygen, I simply don't have the time. I am too busy collecting all of the random medical supplies, and fielding phone calls from the hospital asking me why I stole the baby's food. Because clearly, it is a hot commodity, and I am selling it on the black market. I mean, isn't it obvious? (sigh) Too bad they didn't check the SHOPPING BAGS I brought to the hospital yesterday.

Whatever. I got bigger fish to fry.

There's the laundry.


And the dog, with all of his needs. GDD.

And the haircut I have needed since September.

And we have a situation on our screen porch that is supposed to be preparation for a yard sale that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN and at some point, seriously, I gotta get rid of that crap.

But what am I doing? Sitting on my ass in my recliner. I did take care of one project: Clearing Off the Top of the Fridge, which had become a virtual candy mountain after two kids brought home bags full of valentines. Now, by "clearing off the top of the fridge", what I mean is I went through all of the cards and candies and school supplies up there in various plastic and paper bags, and pulled out what I wanted to eat, put the school supplies in Max's desk, and threw everything else away. Now I am sipping chai, and methodically eating my loot.

Items that made the breakfast cut:
Chocolate. All of it. Now right now now dammit.
Nerds
SweetTarts

Items that did not even get consideration:
LaffyTaffy
Cheap lollipops that were melty and messy looking

Items that have been stashed for later:
Tootsie Roll Pops
Lik M Aid

To be fair, the kids seem to have totally forgotten any of that was up there, so I don't feel bad at all about eating it. And it's bad for their teeth. And makes them hyper. And then they get headaches afterwards. So, I am actually doing them a FAVOR.

I am the best mom ever.