Why all parents should also be MDs, RNs or similar

Up to the minute updates here at Adventures in Paradise !

After my last post, Lucy woke up at about 3pm, and was all sorts of perky. I was so relieved ! She ate an entire grilled cheese with a level of enthusiasm never before shown to this classic sandwich. She ran, she danced, she picked out a movie at the grocery store, she watched the movie, she chilled on the sofa, and then, suddenly, without warning, at about 6pm, she started to cry. It was an exact repeat of what happened this morning. We went from okey-dokee to sobbing-hysterical-mess in about 5 minutes.

So we gave her Tylenol again. And she cried, and cried, and then fell asleep in my arms in the middle of the living room. about half an hour later she woke up, minus the tears, but still burning up. She went to watch some TV, and about 10 minutes later fell apart again. Her belly hurt, she kept saying. The fever was high - but since my damn thermometer was broken, I wasn't sure HOW high. She had a headache. She wouldn't eat, or sip on water. She kept saying she had to pee - but nothing came out. Her breath smelled awful (and babies do not have bad breath, as a rule). She was crying and crying and I finally looked at Sami and said "That's it - I'm taking her to the clinic."

We bundled her up, Sami stayed home with Max, I grabbed the laptop and the new movie rental, and bombed back down the hill for the second time that day. She cried the whole way down that her tummy hurt, and then as we approached the clinic, started sobbing that she had to pee. I screamed into the parking lot and came to an abrupt stop in the middle of two spots, and she was already out of her seat and reaching for the door. She hopped ou, dropped her pants in the parking lot, and squatted.

Nothing came out. She was crying again, in frustration, exhaustion, pain - I don't know......

There was a long wait, and her fever was not going down, though her mood was improving. I wasn't sure what to do. Do we stay, do we leave, is she fine, is she sick, is there something wrong with ME that I have taken her to the doctor twice in 2 weeks ? This is probably just a virus, and I am being an idiot. But what if it isn't ? I cannot imagine the guilt I would feel if we left and something WAS wrong....so we stay.

Finally called to the back, she is measured and notated, and then they send us to the lab - where I find out they need a pee sample - and blood.

Oh mother of god.

She was a trooper. I didn't give her the whole story until they were literally holding the needle against her skin, just held her tight and told her to squeeze her eyes shut and make a wish - and then, just as they were about to do the deed, I said "there is just going to be a teeny pinch and it will be over".

It was almost the truth. They were extremely skilled, very fast and efficient and careful and really couldn't have done a better job in the lab. But Lucy was PISSED.

So, we went back to the examining room, and fired up the DVD again. She cuddled in my lap with her night night wrapped around her new booboo. I called Sami, and told him he totally owed me one. Then the doctor came in, and I reassured her he was NOT going to pinch her in any way, or hurt her, he just wanted to look, and maybe touch, her belly, ears, throat, eyes, etc.

He did those things - then pulled her pants down to see if there was something "down there" that would be causing pain when she peed, or making her feel like she had to go more often. She looked at me - panicked. I told her it was OK, he was a doctor, and i was there, and it was OK for him to look there, because I was with her and he was a doctor - I just kept repeating it over and over, and she held my hand and stared right at me - trusting, wary, calm, scared....And then it was over, and she was back in my lap and the movie was on again and I was talking to the doctor.

And then, he made a liar of me.

He whipped out a swab, told her to say ahh, and took a throat culture to test for strep.

She screamed and cried hysterically. I was pissed. We got over it. The doctor gave me all the test results. She refused to look at him, or answer him, then suddenly she was interrupting our conversation and asking questions, and announcing (when he told me that he could tell from the test results that she wasn't eating) that she DID eat today - she had a grilled cheese !

We beat a hasty retreat. I felt like an over-reacting moron. She was looking for a milkshake. We went to Walmart to get a new thermometer and some Motrin, then headed home.

It's 10:30pm. I am tired. My throat hurts. I need some sleep, but first I need a shower and something to eat. And a medical degree because DAMMIT I am sick of dragging my kids to the doctor to err on the side of caution. I need an ear thingy so I can check for ear infections, and a tongue depressor so I can look for strep, and some cups to take pee smaples to test for UTIs, and I will be all set ! Huzzah !