Sunday, November 30, 2008


Thanksgiving Day began with an overpriced thanksgiving morning breakfast next to a drafty window. Hmph.
Then we went to the front desk, to clear up our registration issues.

In the process of discovering that they had no idea what room we were in - I don't know why they didn't just consult the LEGAL PAD) they also offered me bracelets for bleacher seats in the viewing stands for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We walked outside, and were met with barricades and a wall of people. There was no way we were going to be able to get to the stands without detouring several blocks - and it was cold. And we were worried that we would get over there, and then not be able to get out again if we needed to. So we ditched the bracelets.

We watched the parade for a little while, so the kids could see how big the balloons were, and the floats. But we were so far away, it was hard to tell ! After about an hour, we decided to go back to the hotel, watch the parade on TV, and get dressed for our Thanksgiving.

Back in the room, chaos reigned. I was trying to pack, the kids were running around like lunatics, we had the parade on full blast in addition to hearing it outside in the street, and the sleeper sofa was still pulled out, so we were edging around the room while I tried to iron our dress clothes. I had to have another drink. Or three.

Finally, we headed downstairs, only to be confronted by another mob scene at the front desk. We literally could not get to the front desk to check out, and I was not going to stand in line for an hour, so we just bailed on the whole thing and I figured I would call the hotel in a little while and check out over the phone. I had already called for the car to brought out of the garage, and when we got downstairs, we were told that they wouldn't give us our car until we had checked out. Fuck.

So I went back upstairs and did one of the rudest things ever. I walked right past the long line, pushed my way through the crowd, and got the attention of one of the desk clerks. I told her that the car was already downstairs, and our kids, my husband, and the valet were all standing down there. She got the picture, stamped the ticket, and I ran down to the waiting car, which the valet had unlocked and allowed the kids to get into in the meantime.

I pulled a u-turn in front of the hotel, and drove the wrong way down a one-way street. The parade had just ended, and there was just a wall of humanity moving slowly away from the parade route. I had my NY driving ability in gear, so I just charged through, and hopped on the highway, getting out of town in record time. We were heading for Westport, and a restaurant called the Red Barn, to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

It turns out the Red Barn is a restaurant that is very popular with the senior citizens of Fairfield County. Every table had a crowd of blue hairs, all hunched over these plates that were just PILED with food - hence the popularity, I guess. The doggie bags would feed a family of four. It was outrageous, the amount of food they were putting on those plates. And while I was sitting there, getting all worked up about how much food was going to waste, and how no one should ever eat that much food in one sitting, my aunt looked over my shoulder and said "Is that man throwing up?"

Why yes, yes he certainly was. Right outside the window. Not 5 feet away. And he was facing me and puking into the landscaping, so i had a front row seat to the Greatest Show on Earth. Awesome.

While the old man was retching into the shrubs, a firetruck, ambulance and police car all pulled up with their lights flashing. Oh good, I thought, this nice old man is going to get some medical attention. But no. They were there for some other old guy who was having a medical emergency in a different part of the restaurant.

The whole situation was so bizarre that really, the only thing I could do was laugh.

Once everyone was done puking, and CPR-ing, and eating, we got back in the car and headed for Boston, to have Thanksgiving meal number 3 - this time with Sami's family. We arrived, we sat, we chatted, and then drove to another aunt's house to sleep. And it was good. The end.

More later.

1 comment:

derfina said...

Oh, my! All I can say is "Bless your heart!"