Oh Baby

Last night, we had to explain to Lucy that no, she could NOT marry her brother.

I don't know why she would WANT to, he can be so grouchy these days, but she just adores everything about him, and they are thick as thieves, really. So last night, when she informed us tha she was going to have children, and that we would need to provide her with a house, car and phone, we told her that it sounded like she needed to find someone she loved very much, to have children with, and to help her buy a house, car and phone. Because it was not going to be us. So she turned to her right and said "Max will be my husband."

Then she informed us that we would be babysitting her kids while she went to work.

After refusing Lucy's kind invitation, Max informed us he was going to let us "hang on to him". Sami told him we would hang on to him until he turned 18, and then he could go hang on someone else.

This entire conversation happened in the car, after several hours of Oktoberfesting, so I am kind of fuzzy on the details (I was not the designated driver - so I was pretty, um, impaired.) In my delicate and muddled state, I was half laughing, and half crying....I didn't expect this conversation for years yet, and apparently my 3 year old has her entire life planned out already. 2 kids, a job, a husband, a house, a car and a phone.....

But this is a perfect example of how I ended up engaged my senior year of high school, signing a lease on an apartment before graduation, and moving to Vermont hours after the graduation ceremony (We had dinner with the family first. You're welcome, mom.)

I was in such a rush.

For what ? To totally fuck up my life ? Apparently, since I am still getting collection letters re: 1995, I did a really bang-up job. I will say this - I managed (despite my best efforts) to remain childless through that first marriage. So all I have to remind me of my tumultuous adolecence is those nasty letters that arrive addressed to my former husband. I mark them "return to sender" and consider it my good deed. But boy, does Sami get pissed off. Nothing worse then getting mail addressed to your wife's ex-husband, at YOUR home. It's a new kind of awesome. I think my step-dad also really enjoys it. What's not to love ?

I have made a pact with another mommy who also had the "starter marriage" experience. If our daughters come home from school (high school or college) and announce that they are in love or (GOD FORBID) getting married, we are sending them to Europe, all expenses paid, for a year. That should cure 'em.

I don't think we'll need to go that far, though, if Max is still on my sofa. I mean, if that doesn't cure her of the fantasy of living with a guy, I don't know what will.