Thief

This post goes out to the special brand of schmuck, who helped him- or herself to the money I put in the safe at work at the end of my shift yesterday. This morning, when my boss called and told me my deposit paperwork was there without the money, I wasn't able to truly express my feelings about you, whoever the hell you are. I couldn't explain the position I suddenly found myself in because of your actions, and the horrible cold that settled in the pit of my stomach. It came rushing back to me so suddenly, from a place I had hid it away years ago.

I am many, many things. Lazy, rude, loud, obnoxious, short tempered, distracted...but I am not a thief. Never, in all my life, have I stolen money. Once, I stole a pack of gum, but I was 6, and I was so scarred by being taken back to the store to apologize, I never even considered taking ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.

I think the thing that makes this missing money so awful is that it comes down to my word. I know my word is good. My friends know my word is good. But this is a new job, and they don't know me as well as my friends do. They have no reason to believe me or trust me - I am the new girl, unproven as of yet.

Which is why the most important thing in all of this is that my relatively new boss, thank god, took me at my word - I told him I put the money in the safe, that a supervisor counted the money and saw me put the money in the safe, that it definitely went in the safe. My words were tumbling out, I was so anxious to tell him that it wasn't me. It was all I could do not to scream it out loud.

And my boss said exactly what I needed to hear: "Don't worry. You did everything exactly right."

There were no blanketed accusations, no insinuations, no pumping for details - he took me at my word. And my word is good.

11 years ago, I found myself in a very different scenario. I was working for a large retail chain, and had been promoted to a floor supervisor, and suddenly money started disappearing from my register. There is a long and complicated story, but basically I had a pretty good idea of who had taken the money, and it seemed obvious to me based on timing and other work schedules and previous items gone missing, who the person was who had actually taken the money.....but Corporate Loss Prevention kicked in, and I was brought into a back office and questioned, for an extended period of time. My word was worthless in their mind. There were comments like "We know that sometimes, people need a little extra money, and this seems like a good way to get it." and "I know you are having issues with your boyfriend, and looking for a new place to live, and trying to save up a security deposit." and finally "It seems strange that it always goes missing when you are working."

I broke down and cried.

But of course I didn't have the money, and I didn't know for sure who did. I was mortified and I felt so HELPLESS. I couldn't defend myself. It was all circumstantial, even thought I felt that clearly, circumstances pointed to another employee. So, as soon as money went missing on a day I WASN'T at work, and I felt that I had been vindicated, I quit. I certainly never got an apology. I was so angry that I was put in that position, that there was no way to lock my register drawer and know that I was the only one using it, that I couldn't protect myself from being victimized.

So today, when I got this call, and my boss said that the money wasn't there, this panic rose up in my heart. I was horrified. Oh. No. Not. Again. NO.

So schmuck, this one is for you.
Fuck You. How dare you? If you need money, get another job. Sell your CD's. Get a roommate. But don't fucking steal. It's bad karma, and karma is a bitch.

And for my new boss - Thank You. Thank you for believing me, for trusting me, for taking me at my word. My word is good. I am grateful that even in the face of having money stolen from you, out of your office, in your own restaurant, that you took the time to reassure me that I hadn't done anything wrong.

****update***** the money was accounted for, all is well, and thank goodness there was no theft involved. I just love a happy ending :)

But for the record - DON'T FUCKING STEAL.