Half melted chocolate covered with white stuff is better than NO CHOCOLATE AT ALL

I am declaring a small victory over the 2011 holiday season, people.

- I got that damn tree up before December 1st, complete with lights that don't make me want to gauge my eyeballs out.
- I read all of my favorite holiday stories, and watched Elf twice this weekend.
- I have a new bottle of rum, and some Coconut Nog - because Egg Nog and I have a difference of opinion about digestion without a gallbladder.
- And I finally used the last of the Thanksgiving turkeys to make epic turkey soup.

I am even contemplating taking a photo this week for our "Thank God THAT'S over" post-apocalypticholiday card to send out in January. Complete with matching outfits and the dog wearing antlers.

But the final touch, the one piece of evidence that says I made the 2011 holiday season my bitch, is that I remembered the Advent calendars hidden in the attic - before Christmas, mind you - FOR THE WIN.

Best mother ever award goes RIGHT HERE thankyouVERYmuchindeed.

Because usually, you see, I discover the calendars on Christmas Eve when I am frantically trying to get the wrapping done. They are inevitably wrapped in a grocery bag, stuck inside a box of gifts I have hidden in a corner of the attic to keep them safe from prying hands. (I don't care about prying eyes - it's the hands that do all the damage.)

BUT NOT THIS YEAR.

Sadly, the reason it didn't go down like that is because I have no presents hidden in the attic for Christmas.
I am little bewildered - because I usually have this all taken care of by now, so that I can sit at home and absorb Nog in peace. Not this year. I honestly have no clue what I am giving the kids this year. No. Clue. Which means I have to leave the house and go shopping, I guess.....

BUT STAY FOCUSED ON THE POSITIVE which is that this year, my kids got their advent calendars on time. Okay, almost on time. They should have gotten them on time, because Auntie Sassin the step-monster reminded me to give them out when she came over on December 1st, and I still forgot. And then I remembered, and forgot, and remembered, and forgot, and then tonight I REMEMBERED AND I DIDN'T FORGET and when I came out of the bedroom after dinner clutching those cardboard boxes filled with cheap candy behind numbered flaps it felt like the angels were singing and I was bathed in a heavenly glow because I was ROCKING THIS PARENTING THING. The kids eyes grew wide and they couldn't believe their good fortune and then they tore off the wrappers and opened the doors marked "1" and the chcoclate was nice and chocolately brown and not all misshapen and hard and covered with white powder from melting and solidfying repeatedly. ANOTHER MIRACLE. (I can't really say whether every Advent calendar that makes it to Hawaii from the mainland has melted and re-solidified chocolate hidden inside. But every Advent calendar my children have ever received certainly has.)

EXCEPT THIS YEAR.

All is right with the world. Please pass the rum. I'll take my prize in a lump sum, thanks. Small bills if you got 'em.

Things I Love: Children's Holiday Books

It's December First.

This means I have 25 days until I can shove the christmas tree back in the attic, and approximately 33 days until the eggnog starts going bad. I am going to need more rum.

While I have serious issues with the holiday itself, however - and with the associated consumerism - I have a wholehearted love of the drunken debauchery of a good office party, and a warm fuzzy feeling about my favorite children's holiday books. I truly look forward to dragging down the box every year on Thanksgiving, and reading these stories to my children. This is my top five list - and all of these books have one thing in common: if there was any way that I could possibly live inside one of these books, I would. It is escapism at it's best. (I am providing links, they take you to Amazon.com. Amazon does not have anything to do with me writing this post or linking to them - I was just trying to keep it easy.)

The first book I reach for on Thanksgiving night - the one I can't wait to read, the one I sneak into the attic and look at in August when I am feeling blue, my very very favorite one of all - is A Beacon Hill Christmasby Barbara Westman. Published in 1976, it is a rolicking tale set in Boston, of the bon vivant Maud, her "special friend" Arthur (who is either the guy she's sleeping with, or her gay friend who accompanies her to events - I just can't be sure) and the days leading up to Christmas. She cooks, she parties, she ice skates, and she makes lists.
I love Maud. I want to be Maud. If you can get your hands on this book, DO IT. It's out of print. You should ask Santa for a copy.

The Sweet Smell of Christmasis next on the list. This is a Scratch and Sniff book - I buy a new one every couple of years so that the sniff stays fresh. (But let's be honest - they really haven't found a way to keep scratch and sniff books sniffing good for more than a few months. Phooey. Scientists: get on this, would you?) This is a tale of a family of bears (vey sweet, non-threatening bears) getting ready for Christmas at their little home in the woods. I could spend hours sniffing the drawing of hot cocoa, but I guess I have some other stuff I could do. This book is my version of sniffing glue during the holiday season.

Next up is The Polar ExpressWhen they made the book into a movie I was furious. How dare they? The book is PERFECT. But damned if they didn't get the movie just right. So we watch the movie after we read the book. Over and over again. I love Chris Van Allsburg's writing style and glorious illustrations - so soothng and peaceful even when something crazy is happening. The movie is more of the same for me.

Then we page through Christmas in New Yorkwhich is a pop-up book that takes pop-up to a whole new level. Incredible. And it makes me happy to look at illustrations of all of the beauty of new York City during the holidays. A few years ago I took the kids to NYC for the week after Thankgiving - it was amazing. We skated at Rockefeller Center, looked at all the shop windows, went to FAO Schwartz AND the Times Square Toys R Us, and made snow angels in Central Park after I carefully explained to them the perils of yellow snow. (Kids from Hawaii don't have a clue about yellow snow, it turns out.)

And then, it's Eloise at ChristmastimeOh, Eloise. I love you and Skipperdee and Weenie and Nanny. I want to live at the Plaza. Everything about you makes me grin like an idiot. Let's be friends.

There are tons more, of course - I am always on the hunt for a new classic - but these are my top five favorite holiday books of all time, and they are pretty unshakeable. However, suggestions welcome, please add your favorites to the list!