My marriage did not lead to procreation, maybe I should notify the Supreme Court

As a heterosexual woman, I was free to marry my high school boyfriend. I didn't need parental consent. I didn't need the Supreme Court to weigh in on my choice (although in retrospect that might not have been such a bad idea). My point is, I was a dumb kid, old enough to reproduce or enlist in the military. Legally within my rights to drive a car and drink myself silly (though, sadly, without the sense to avoid doing both simultaneously). I had no business making life-altering decisions.

"The concern is that redefining marriage as a genderless institution will sever its abiding connection to its historic traditional procreative purposes, and it will ... refocus the purpose of marriage and the definition of marriage away from the raising of children and to the emotional needs and desires ... of adult couples," Cooper argued.

It would come as no surprise to anyone - except, apparently, Mr. Cooper - that I got divorced within a few years. I imagine it had something to do with the fact that I married in order to start a family, with little concern for my (allegedly irrelevant) emotional needs and desires. I'm sure glad Mr. Cooper wasn't around when my infertile self was thinking about getting married a second time, since, in his opinion, I had no reason to bother if I wasn't making babies.

I didn't really understand why anyone would be against gay marriage, until I listened to Mr. Cooper today. I was dumbstruck. They are all up in arms because they think that marriage is primarily for the purpose of procreation? That's their case against gay marriage? That's it?
But............ sometimes people - straight or gay - can't procreate. What about them? Can't they get married?

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but do me a favor. Take a break from reading this, and think about all of the heterosexual people in this world who shouldn't be procreating, and all of those who do so (and continue to do so long after it is reasonable or even feasible) with or without the commitment of marriage.

Okay. You have a picture in your head of all the people out there who have no business being parents? And all of the people who are absolutely miserable in their marriage?

Now I want you to think long and hard about what, exactly, makes a marriage. Think about YOUR marriage for a minute. What do you share with your spouse?
Love.
Commitment.
Respect.

It has nothing to do with whether or not you can conceive.

And a final note: to my husband. Who married me even though I was broken. Who stayed with me while I healed. Who honored me with his patience and compassion. And who has said, many many times, that even if we could not conceive a child, he wouldn't leave. Mr. Cooper, I wish you could meet this man. He might be able to teach you a thing or two about marriage.


I'm over at Yeah, Write again this week. You can read some good stuff from other bloggers, and vote for your favorite.