......and then I was struck by lightening, The End.

I truly never thought I would say the words. And when the thought popped into my head, instead of just blurting it out, I sat with it for a minute.

Was it disrespectful to the man I love and share my life with?
What kind of karmic payback will I experience for uttering these words?
And also: Am I delusional?


But I couldn't help it.
I was standing in a store, in front of a huge catalogue. Surrounded by familiar equipment. Men in tight shorts and little hats. Wheels and components leaning up against every surface. And the process of ordering this roof rack for my family's bikes was taking way too long.

It's not that complicated.
I know.....because, well. I just know.

Standing in the Maui Cyclery on Tuesday, around the corner from the cafe an hour before work, was just the same as standing in _____ Cyclery 20 years ago.
(And side note, after reading that line and counting in my head: I am so fucking old).

I spent a lot of time in ______Cyclery during high school. There were years that I called there every day. Probably multiple times, actually. I didn't know any better. And I would hang out there, pretending to be interested in my surroundings, when really I was just interested in one of the employees.
Fact: I didn't even own a bike. But I watched him order and assemble many many MANY roof racks over the years. I know my Thule and my Yakima, damn it.

In the past 15 years or so, since my time at the bike shop came to it's sad conclusion, I *never* had a roof rack on my car. Too many painful memories. Plus, I had nothing to put on the rack. (Let's just be honest).

But now we have bikes. And I think I have enough distance from my past to allow myself to drive a car with a bunch of metal screwed to the roof, and a plastic sign on the front covered with stickers that say things like "ROCKSHOX". I even have something to put ON the racks. The racks of today have nothing to do with the racks of Christmases past. Right?

Of course.

Which is why on Tuesday, when I was having this long drawn out conversation about roof racks and which parts I would need and how much it would cost, I was honestly surprised when the thought popped into my head.

I thought it, and then - horrors of horrors - I said it. I said it out loud. And God Help Me, I meant it.

"This is" I declared "the ONLY TIME I have ever wished my ex-husband was around".
Because he may not have been happy being my husband, but he loved the hell out of a new set of roof racks.