Dear John - keep your hands off my daughter

Dear John,

Last night, my daughter informed our babysitter that you are her "boyfriend" and that the two of you "went to the Statue of Liberty" last week.
At Night.
Which is why I don't know about it. I was sleeping, apparently.
I knew those damn french doors in the kids' rooms were going to lead to trouble.

John, I have no problem making myself perfectly clear. If you are going to go to the Statue of Liberty for the night, you damn well better bring me back some decent bagels.

We won't get into the fact that my daughter is 5.
Or that we live in Hawaii.

Apparently, you were able to fly to New York and back in one night. As Lucy explained, it only takes two hours.

John, I don't know where my daughter met you, as there are no Johns in her school or her gymnastics class......but I love you already. Tell me, is this your own personal jet, or do you charter? Have you considered fractional ownership? And were you allowed to land right there at the base of the statue, or did you have to helicopter in from Teterboro? Sounds lovely, either way. Hope you had good weather.

I am looking forward to meeting you soon!
kisses,

your future mother in law (we just couldn't be more excited!)