Tits McGee goes to dinner

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. Considering the fact that at 12:30 am on Sunday I was ONCE AGAIN driving to the other side of the island after the late shift, I wasn't getting that rested feeling.

I forgot my wig and fishnets.
I forgot my booze.

But I wasn't gonna miss saying goodbye to Killah.

I got there too late to see the (roller) girl jump out of the cake.
I missed the roast.
And the skit.
I missed the topless chicks running around the yard in an innertube.
I miss all the good shit.

But I got a boob hickey from Killah (something to remember her by) and I didn't get pulled over on the drive back home at 2am.

So it wasn't all bad.

And Sunday morning dawned sunny and warm. I needed a bloody mary, and I got one. I needed a pumpkin spice latte, and I got one of those, too.

And then I had a board meeting for the rollergirls. The ones I had just seen a few hours earlier. It was the most hungover board meeting I have ever attended, I think. Except for me, of course - because I was still drunk from breakfast.

I didn't take a lot of notes.

After the board meeting, I had a birthday party to attend. Sunset. I'o restaurant. The perfect ending to a great weekend. I raced home from the meeting, threw dinner together for the kids, grabbed a dress out of my closet, and hightailed it out the door. As we drove out of the neighborhood I felt a breeze. I looked down and my v neck dress was wide open.

Shit.

Looked at the clock. No time to go home and change. Better stop somewhere and get a pin. Or something. Sami thought I was being ridiculous.
"It looks fine."
"Both of my tits are completely uncovered."
"And it looks fine. You have a black bra on."
"But m-"
"Trust me, you will not be showing more cleavage than the birthday girl."

I sat and pondered that for a minute. Her tits are, arguably, one of the birthday girls best attributes. Showstoppers.
And she accentuates the positive. She keeps those babies on display. If you are gonna hang with Star, you're gonna spend the night waiting to see if her boobs might actually escape their confines. It's always juuuuuuust about to happen. Every time she leans over or coughs or laughs, you wait, in wide-eyed wonder and breathless anticipation.

But she has those suckers so well positioned, so perfectly contained, that I have NEVER seen them actually break free. Not like mine did in that dress. So I went to Walmart and ran to the accessories section, hoping for a brooch or something.

Nothing.

I was clutching my purse to my chest, trying to keep everything shielded from the People of Walmart. I have no idea why I was so concerned - with my bra hanging out like that, I fit right in. Sami was following me around half-heartedly. He just didn't see the point. But I really didn't weant my cleavage to be a featured part of the evening, in Walmart, at the restaurant, or on the highway. So I bought an enormous fabric flower on a hairclip and a box of safety pins. I pinned my dress together and then pinned the flower to the front to hide the safety pins. And then I held my breath and we drove to dinner.

We missed sunset.
I told you I miss all the good stuff.
I did not, however, miss the mojitos.
And the pins held.
And the birthday girl had a totally conservative dress on for the first time, well, ever. I told her about my technical difficulties. She agreed with Sami - what was the big deal? She always has her tits hanging out. "I dressed all conservative tonight" she noted proudly. "SOMEONE should have their boobs hanging out."
"She didn't want to steal your thunder." mused Sami. "It's YOUR night after all." He was disappointed in how this evening was turning out, boob-wise.
"I just wanted to be decent." I protested.
Sami looked at me for a long minute.
"THAT is going to take a lot more than a couple of safety pins."

I have no idea what he means by that.