Friday, September 5, 2008

A very quick update, and some potty talk. Not swearing, actual talk about going potty. You have been warned.

After a quiet breakfast shift at the cafe, and some really unpleasant testing at Kaiser, we sat in traffic for what seemed like forever (long enough for Sami to pull over on the side of the road so I could hobble into a portapotty - a "facility" I only use in extreme emergencies) and finally arrived in Kaanapali a little after 5pm.

The testing this afternoon involved blood, ultrasound, and urine. Thank god, no other samples were required. Because the aforementioned list? That is the full extent of my voluntary participation in medical tests. In other words, I do not provide poop on demand - ever. I had yet another amazing ultrasound probe - this time by my all-time favorite ultrasound tech (and how sad is it that I *have* a favorite? Really ?!?!?) She got some great images, and those images clearly showed a large SOMETHING in my abdomen on the left side. It was fluid-filled, which means it is not a mass, which means it is not cancer. Which is all I really care about at this point. I feel like shit, and I just don't want to have a terminal illness. Is that so much to ask? I think not.

After visiting the lab and getting 3 large-ish vials of blood drawn, I staggered upstairs to my doctors office, where I was informed that both of my doctors were out, and that my surgery may have been called off.

So, now I was pissed. All that testing, and the associated fees, for naught? I hobbled back downstairs (stagger up, hobble down, that's my motto) and got in the car. Sami took off for the resort, with me riding shotgun, swearing like a sailor and working the phone. I gave Sami a brief synopsis, then called my mother, then 2 friends, then the nurse from my doc's office called to tell me the doc was going to review the films and call me. A few more calls, the desperate potty stop, and a vicodan, and I was in a hotel room staring at the gorgeous Pacific and feeling increasingly aggravated. I am trying very hard not to cry, because I am so freaking exhausted and uncomfortable and frustrated.

So I will stay here for the weekend, hopefully sleeping and resting up and eating well, and cuddling with my kids, and waiting. Waiting to hear from my doctor, waiting for answers, waiting for relief, maybe even Waiting for Guffman.

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