Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Makawao Strangler is in the house - where's my hammer ?

Today, my son grabbed another boy around the neck and tried to throttle him.
For dropping his Transformer.

Not to worry, I handled the entire situation like a total pro. I sent Max into another room, gave him a spanking (a spanking for hurting someone - oh, the irony) and piece de resistance. As my son looked on in horror, I took the Transformer and smashed it with a hammer, then threw it in the trash. I told my son if he EVER laid a hand on ANYONE or ANYTHING ever ever again, I would go into his room with that hammer, and just start swinging at his shelves of toys.

I know, it was not the mature response. I am sure the professionals would have plenty of options that would be far better then the one I chose. But hey, I went with my gut. And my gut said, if he is going to attempt to throttle his best buddy over a toy, that toy is WAY too important. So the toy is gone, and he is sufficiently cowed by seeing me smash his treasured possession on the kitchen floor.

And might I say, after the day I had, smashing that toy felt AWESOME ?! Is that bad ? Because truly, after experiencing it for myself, I highly recommend finding something in your home that will smash into many satisfying pieces with relatively little effort, and just beating the SHIT out of it when you are having a bad day. Not a glass, or something that could cut you, but you know, something that will take an extended beating. If you don't have a Transformer, or a Barbie car or something, maybe a squash ? I think that Gallagher was on to something when he started smashing those watermelons with a mallet. It's like primal scream therapy, but quieter.

No comments: